I used to obsess about the same exact thing — after all, no one wants to regret their first time or have sex before they can actually handle everything that comes along with it. Everyone puts so much pressure on your first time that thinking about it can be completely nerve wracking.
Before you have sex with someone, you need to know all there is to know about STDs and STIs - how you can get them, if your possible partner has been tested, the symptoms of common STDs, etc. If you haven't learned about this in school, we have a lot of information here on Gurl check this page out and you can always talk to a doctor.
But if you know nothing about this stuff, you shouldn't be having sex yet - that's irresponsible. You should never have sex because you feel left out or you're dealing with any kind of peer pressure.
If you want to have sex just to "get it over with" and be like everyone else, that's not the right reason to lose your virginity. First of all, those people aren't you, so just because they're doing it doesn't mean you have to. Second of all, not everyone who says they do it actually is doing it.
Have sex only when YOU feel ready, not just to fit in. Before you have sex, you need to have a birth control plan. Buy some condoms yes, you can do that and consider speaking to your doctor about going on the pill or getting a diaphragm.
You need to have a plan AND a backup plan! If you're dating someone who has been pressuring you to take the next step, don't do it just because you want to make him happy.
Don't do it because you think it will improve your relationship or make him like you more. Don't do it because he doesn't want to wait. ShutterStock Thinking About Having Sex Makes You Freak Out Everyone is going to be a little nervous about having sex for the first time, so if you feel slightly anxious whenever you think about it, that doesn't automatically mean you're not ready.
But if thinking about sex practically gives you a panic attack or makes you feel really uncomfortable, you're probably not ready yet.
When you're ready, you should feel a little nervous, but also excited. If it doesn't make you happy at all, you're just not there yet. If you think your BF is cheating on you, or if you think he's not that interested or if you feel like he could be using you, don't lose your virginity to him.
The person you lose your virginity to doesn't have to be your one true love and soulmate, but it should be someone you trust and feel comfortable with - someone you can be yourself around and someone you don't think is going to leave you the second you guys do it.
ShutterStock You Have Ridiculously High Expectations If you think your first time having sex is going to be just like those sweet, romantic scenes in a movie or TV show Sex is awkward, plain and simple. Your first time can very easily be the most awkward. If you think sex is going to be the most perfect experience of your life, you might not be ready to do it just yet, because you need to be realistic.
Things can and probably will be messy. You won't know exactly what to do. It might be awkward. Just have realistic views on sex before you do it. If you've spent your whole life believing that sex before marriage is wrong but you're suddenly feeling urges to do it, give yourself a lot of time to think. Are you SURE you want to go against your beliefs?
Because you might do it and then regret it. Before you have sex, make sure it's really what you want and not something you just want right now. If you're sort of nervous about the idea of having sex for the first time, you should talk to your partner about it.
You guys should discuss what you're going to do about birth control and if he's ever done it before, if he's ever been tested before, where your relationship is going to go afterwards Do you get grossed out by sex stuff?
Do you blush at just the idea of talking about birth control or STD testing or anything like that? Of course, you could just be shy, but it could also be a sign that you're not ready to have sex yet. If you're having sex, you should feel comfortable talking about it, because sex is about communication just as much as it is about physical stuff. Are you still a virgin? Tell me in the comments.