Withholding sex in a marriage. Reasons Women Withhold Sex.



Withholding sex in a marriage

Withholding sex in a marriage

Neil Rosenthal Posted In: Withdrawing sex is often related to not wanting to feel controlled or dictated to. Paradoxically, the person who is sexually rejecting or closed is usually perceived by their mate as being very powerful and controlling. Being sexual with someone you love, care about and are committed to means that you are offering nurturance, TLC, affection and closeness. Withholding sex may mean that one person feels the need to distance things a bit in order to keep him or herself feeling safe and protected.

This is about adopting the attitude that the best way to not get hurt again in a relationship is to not give anyone the chance to get close enough. So of course over the long run, there is also likely to be less sexual desire.

This can, and often does, lead to tremendous conflict, anger and retaliatory behavior, and can easily threaten and destabilize an otherwise healthy relationship. One solution to this dilemma is to ask your mate what he or she needs in order to freely and unreservedly give you what you sexually want.

Secondly, too much emotional safety in a relationship is a form of death. Challenge yourself to not be so safe and self-protective.

You may need to take some emotional risks and learn how to let go of your fears and grievances so you can trust. If you act fearful, safe or self-protective in a relationship, you will not love. So find ways of not being so self-protective. There are exceptions to the above rule, but most women will respond well to a man who is obviously trying.

Finally, the two of you need to directly confront the causes for the self-protection, and how your relationship can feel safer and more secure. Has your relationship turned cold and distant? Did you find this article helpful? Use the buttons above to share it with your friends! Want more articles like this delivered to your inbox every week?

He specializes in strengthening intimate relationships. His internationally syndicated "Relationships" column is now in its 23rd year. He is the author of Love, Sex and Staying Warm: Keeping the Flame Alive.

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Withholding Sex From Your Man Purposely Will Cause Problems



Withholding sex in a marriage

Neil Rosenthal Posted In: Withdrawing sex is often related to not wanting to feel controlled or dictated to. Paradoxically, the person who is sexually rejecting or closed is usually perceived by their mate as being very powerful and controlling. Being sexual with someone you love, care about and are committed to means that you are offering nurturance, TLC, affection and closeness.

Withholding sex may mean that one person feels the need to distance things a bit in order to keep him or herself feeling safe and protected. This is about adopting the attitude that the best way to not get hurt again in a relationship is to not give anyone the chance to get close enough. So of course over the long run, there is also likely to be less sexual desire. This can, and often does, lead to tremendous conflict, anger and retaliatory behavior, and can easily threaten and destabilize an otherwise healthy relationship.

One solution to this dilemma is to ask your mate what he or she needs in order to freely and unreservedly give you what you sexually want. Secondly, too much emotional safety in a relationship is a form of death. Challenge yourself to not be so safe and self-protective. You may need to take some emotional risks and learn how to let go of your fears and grievances so you can trust. If you act fearful, safe or self-protective in a relationship, you will not love. So find ways of not being so self-protective.

There are exceptions to the above rule, but most women will respond well to a man who is obviously trying. Finally, the two of you need to directly confront the causes for the self-protection, and how your relationship can feel safer and more secure.

Has your relationship turned cold and distant? Did you find this article helpful? Use the buttons above to share it with your friends! Want more articles like this delivered to your inbox every week? He specializes in strengthening intimate relationships.

His internationally syndicated "Relationships" column is now in its 23rd year. He is the author of Love, Sex and Staying Warm: Keeping the Flame Alive.

Withholding sex in a marriage

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3 Comments

  1. Your husband is your first priority. Withholding sex is a valid reason for divorce; studies rank a happy sex life as the second most important factor in a successful marriage, topped only by faithfulness.

  2. However, this tort has been abolished in most jurisdictions, and as of is only recognized in 6 U.

  3. You might be satisfied with angry, violent sex, but she wants to work out her angst before she jumps into bed.

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