Men I know, and many more I do not, reach out to me to tell me they feel wronged — silenced, even. I raised an eyebrow and moved on. It finally took an email from a well-educated, professionally successful and mostly very progressive male friend of mine featuring a link to a video of women beating up men to make me fully take notice. Now, a lot of guys have to watch what they say. But as frustrating as the pushback felt, it became increasingly obvious that there was no denying the consistency, and therefore validity, of the feelings that were being thrown at me.
Acknowledging the validity of this sentiment, I began to wonder if silencing was legitimately what was going on. So I thought to really understand how misunderstood, robbed, wronged and silenced men felt, I should hand over the microphone to them. Now a lot of guys have to watch what they say.
Frustrations seemed to run quite deep. But he fails to see why he should be held accountable for problems that are systemic, and to which he did not necessarily contribute to.
I might be more likely to get a job, but I am not necessarily the cause for any of those things. He says this laughing, but with no audible irony. The whole system is changing drastically with the coming of the information age.
That presence is what makes its loss harder, he says. One study from showed that despite still persistently experiencing much better outcomes when it came to income, employment, home ownership and health, white Americans felt that as black Americans had gained in rights over the second half of the 20th century, white Americans had experienced a mirror decrease in rights. This understanding is false — both when it comes to race and gender — says Kimmel, the professor of sociology.
Gender progress, just like progress towards a more racially equal society, is far from a zero-sum game. Lindsey says this is more of a question of learning to create space for other people, and understanding that your thoughts and ideas do not automatically get to be at the center of all conversations.
John Acosta, a year-old design student who grew up in what he describes as a small, conservative town, says that as he has traveled and lived in different cities across the US, he has had to learn to repress some of the behaviors he was taught were right, or polite, growing up.
I think, OK we are equal. But I still worry. Does she realize that I am not giving her my seat because I think she is as capable as I am of going that one stop?
The way I was brought up, I would give up my seat to women in the subway — young or old. Feminism has made him unsure about courting rituals, and driven him to silence.
You are removing the men who are trying to create a bond with you. It is confusing, and the mixed messaging can leave men feeling portrayed in the wrong way just for trying to do the right thing.
They feel they are being invaded. Coss, the butcher, flags that we should be aspiring to be ending patriarchy and marching towards equality, not creating a new world order of matriarchy.
And not making presumptions goes both ways, he states. That presumption is not shared towards straight white men But having that presumption [about straight men] is still a presumption.