And intercourse aside, how often do you engage in oral sex just for the sake of If the numbers are low, I have to say: You and are your partner are missing out. While, it can be near-impossible to resist diving in to sexy time penis-first, an intense session of cunnilingus can definitely add something to your intimate life that neither of you are getting from the same old in-and-out.
So what's the big deal? For one thing, giving her oral sex can be a great form of foreplay. Your partner may not have mentioned this to you, but women typically are not ready for intercourse after just one arm caress and a breast grope.
They often prefer a warming-up period in order to become physically and psychologically aroused, which, in turn, makes it easier for them to experience pain-free sex and, perhaps, even reach orgasm s. But oral sex doesn't even have to be used as foreplay. For a really intense sexual experience, try making cunnilingus the main event. In many cases, women orgasm more reliably from cunnilingus than they do from intercourse. But you have do it right. Giving her oral sex is not as simple as merely thrusting your tongue into her vagina and making it do the wiggle.
No, mind-blowing oral sex requires some actual technique. Mark Coriddi, author of The Mount Method: Not a "dismount" though cunnilingus does require a bit of oral gymnastics. Achieving a mount means that your mouth and her pubic area come together in such a way as to maximize the pleasure she experiences during your mouthy ministrations.
Both men and women have a mount. According to Coriddi, a man's mount is the area of his upper lip just above his teeth. A woman's mount, meanwhile, is the center of the pubic bone, where there is a slight cradle into which your mount naturally fits. It will make her hot spots easier to access. Once you're properly positioned, there are a number of things you can do in order to rock her world.
First, warm her up by caressing her inner thighs, breathing naturally so she can feel your breath on her clitoris and on the other areas of her vulva. This will help build up anticipation, making her squirm for more as you prepare to really impress her. Then, once you're ready, begin licking her like an ice cream cone, in long, thick strokes that cover the entire area down there.
Carlee Ranger Let your licks gradually build up in intensity before plunging in fully. Once you've reached a certain rhythm, try mixing things up though you should remain mindful of how she's responding to your touch; if she's finding a specific rhythm or touch particularly pleasurable, she may feel frustrated if you suddenly change course.
That being said, going back and forth between different levels of intensity, also known as "edging" , can produce a more intense orgasm. What else can you do down there? Use your lips to kiss her most intimate parts, alternating those particular kisses with smooches on her thighs. Lightly nibble and then suck on entire bits of her skin.
The gentle suction will feel incredible, especially if you can still manage to continue using your tongue. Blow softly across her skin, teasing her with the new sensation. Don't be nervous about experimenting with different approaches when giving her oral sex. Once found, a skilled cunnilinguist rarely goes unappreciated.
But if you're not sure exactly how, just press a flat, still tongue against her vulva and let her do the work. It's the cunnilingus equivalent of letting her get on top. One of my favorite tongue techniques that I talk about in my book She Comes First is the "Rope-a-dope" — the strategy Muhammad Ali used to take down George Foreman during the edge-of your-seat Rumble in the Jungle.
Let her push and grind against your flat, still tongue — take it all in — and then spring back with a series of fast vertical and diagonal tongue strokes. Lick her senseless with a short burst of energy and then return to the flat, still tongue, waiting for yet another opportune moment to spring to life again.
As I write in The Cliterate Male, you should never assume your partner is as excited as you are. Even if she's wet down there, her physical arousal may not be indicative of the psychological arousal she is — or isn't — feeling. So what are those signs? For more info, read on to find out what women want when it comes to oral sex — straight from them. What Do Women Like?
Going down on her is the key to her orgasm. Women not only appreciate a giving lover, but they also value someone who is willing to demonstrate the movement, the variation and the endurance they need when it comes to making sure they are not only pleased but exhausted after foreplay. Oral sex for women is a completely different beast than it is for men.
While you need a happy medium between hard and soft, fast and slow, suction and licking, what she needs is a balancing act, too. From being surprised to feeling appreciated — it's not only about the actual things you do with your tongue and fingers but how you help her stop thinking and start feeling.
So how do you making oral sex a great experience for her? Before you start watching porn to figure out how to make it hotter for her bad idea , here's another suggestion for you: Ask her what she likes. While giving her clit some good attention is a good rule of thumb, you'll never know how to get her off the way she likes unless she's letting you know what to do and how you're doing. Or if you're not comfortable getting into that conversation just yet, take it from these real women, who revealed what they really really, really, oh-my-god, really like about oral sex — and the expert who spoke about why these things are such a turn-on for women: I always know that he hopes it'll end up in intercourse, and it does sometimes, but if it doesn't, he still goes down on me until I finish," she says.
For Sarah and for most women, their past oral experiences always resulted in a guy nodding to his member, demanding a tit-for-tat. If you really want her to let go and let her wild side unleash, you have to give her permission to not worry about what she'll have to do after she climaxes.
Why the expert says this is hot: AASECT-certified sexuality counselor and certified clinical sexologist Dawn Michael says many women struggle with the ability to let go when someone is going down on them. It's normal for most women to be so stuck in their head about to-do lists, what's for dinner, what's going on in their friendships and everything else, so being able to truly be in the moment is a toughie.
That's why a partner who gives her the time and the permission to unleash is a huge turn-on. But here's the thing to note, straight from Kristin, 32, from Phoenix: Instead of circling your tongue to find her sweet spot or mindlessly fingering her until she pushes you on her to begin sex, try something new: Curl the tops of your fingers and apply pressure to hit her G-spot. Lift her legs higher, wider or in other directions until you hear her respond. This will help her get out of her head and release any tension that might prevent her from finishing.
Michael says that any direct clitoral stimulation or repeating the same motion over and over again will help get your partner to relax and begin to be turned on. When you throw in different moves that are also stimulating, you take the oral sex game into a whole other world. Because you're going more behind the scenes. On it's way into the vagina, it bundles under the G-spot and creates a wonderful, indirect stimulation when that area is touched," Michael says. Imagine just rubbing the head of the penis without the shaft — that would be similar to rubbing just the head of the clitoris without rubbing the legs.
The best kind of sex with my husband is when I'm riding him and suddenly, he pushes me off and goes down on me until I climax," says Vicki, 27, from Charlotte, N. When you're unafraid to involve all of these sexy limbs capable of producing even bigger orgasms , that's when your sex gets hotter. Most women need both penetration and oral to fully achieve the highest amount of pleasure. If you're only giving her one at a time, it's like if she only played with one ball: While it's not technically true that a woman can't achieve both indirect clitoral stimulation and direct stimulation from intercourse, for some women, it may be more difficult than others, Michael says.
Carlee Ranger If you're having trouble multitasking during sex going at her from behind while massaging her clitoris, for example — this might be a good option for you, especially if you can maintain your erection the whole time.
Stopping during sex to go down on her will stimulate her, and then while she's getting turned on, you can stop and begin having intercourse again, and repeat until she achieves orgasm. If you're worried about seamlessly switching positions — both with intercourse and oral — take a breather. While it might be tricky at first and you may experience some fumbles together, once she realizes that you're attempting to bring out the best in her and give her the most pleasure as possible, she'll let go and let you take control.
And maybe even help you with the maneuvering once she sees how amazing the different techniques feel when combined.
Use your hands before using your mouth. Really, really passionately kiss her. And then start with your hands before you venture down south. Remember the time before you started having sex when you were still at the makeout stage? Sure, you likely made grabs for other regions and pushed as far as your high school girlfriend would let you, but what was so intense about those first fleeting moments of innocence was this sense of discovery. As adults, we may round the bases much faster than our partners would like, so it's important to stop, take a minute and remember all those old-fashioned ways you got turned on before we rushed to sex on the third date.
But, unlike when you were a kid, you can really turn up the kissing ante to make it even sexier with your now-mature skills: One way to really tease her is to take the tongue and softly lick in the inside of her upper lip, almost like you would be giving her oral sex," Michael says.
Even expressing this will make her feel more comfortable, more connected and more up for round two and three and four. Different strokes for different folks is always true, but consider this: Was it when the girl went down on you grudgingly, didn't make any noise, didn't touch her body, didn't really move or look up at you or make eye contact?
Or was it when she massaged her breasts, smiled, locked eyes with you, moaned and touched herself, all while making sure you finished? Hopefully the latter for your sake because great oral sex isn't just about the person who is receiving. Instead, it's about how you're both working together to achieve pleasure. The next time you go down on her, try moaning as you open and close your mouth. If you can manage the multi-tasking, you might even consider rubbing your cock while you're rubbing her.
And if she happens to finish on you while you're still going down on her, make a point to tell her exactly how much that turned you on, why she is incredibly sexy in your eyes and how you can't wait to do that again and again.