Tell me what is sex. 5 things women won’t tell you about sex (but you need to know).



Tell me what is sex

Tell me what is sex

This column originally appeared on Scarleteen. I know for a guy, sex is over once he ejaculates. But when is the sex over for a girl? Get the facts, direct to your inbox. Subscribe to our daily or weekly digest. Sex is about the people involved experiencing physical and emotional pleasure together throughout, with or without orgasm, before, during and after.

We ask what our partner wants throughout sex, and that communication is part of sex. One thing to understand is that men and women alike can reach orgasm more than once: Now, not everyone can ejaculate or orgasm more than once, nor can people who can do those things do them every day or even want to every time they have sex.

Many, many women have been taught that what determines when sex is over is when a male partner says that it is or reaches orgasm. We can and do have sex with more than a penis or our genitals: Women with male partners do often know when their partner has an orgasm, but not just because he ejaculates if he does: With oral sex, because semen has a taste, you can tell, and with manual sex or mutual masturbation, you can see ejaculation.

Often, whatever the gender of our partner, if our genitals, mouths, or hands are around or in their genitals, we can learn to feel the contractions which usually happen with orgasm, and have a pretty good idea of when a partner is having one. Of course, not all men or all women will reach orgasm with intercourse or any other kind of sex all the time.

Sometimes, too, a woman might feel done with sex before a male partner reaches orgasm or ejaculates, just like men might have that experience. After all, we all have ways of getting ourselves to orgasm, too, for those times when our partner is not feeling well, has lost the mood or is just plain tuckered out.

In fact, sometimes we may want to have sex with a partner that is entirely about pleasing them, about their bodies and genitals more than our own or exclusive of our own altogether. Not all people feel done with sex just because they reached an orgasm, either done for their own pleasure, nor done when it comes to their partner.

If you ask me, when any two or more people are sexually active together, if everyone is doing it for the right reason and really invested in each other, none of us is really going to feel done unless we both feel done. Hopefully, that fills in the gaps for you. And by all means, if your sex education had a gap like this you saw, you might want to pipe up and say something.

Here are a few extra links for you which may fill some additional gaps in your education:

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Tell me what is sex

This column originally appeared on Scarleteen. I know for a guy, sex is over once he ejaculates. But when is the sex over for a girl? Get the facts, direct to your inbox. Subscribe to our daily or weekly digest. Sex is about the people involved experiencing physical and emotional pleasure together throughout, with or without orgasm, before, during and after. We ask what our partner wants throughout sex, and that communication is part of sex. One thing to understand is that men and women alike can reach orgasm more than once: Now, not everyone can ejaculate or orgasm more than once, nor can people who can do those things do them every day or even want to every time they have sex.

Many, many women have been taught that what determines when sex is over is when a male partner says that it is or reaches orgasm. We can and do have sex with more than a penis or our genitals: Women with male partners do often know when their partner has an orgasm, but not just because he ejaculates if he does: With oral sex, because semen has a taste, you can tell, and with manual sex or mutual masturbation, you can see ejaculation.

Often, whatever the gender of our partner, if our genitals, mouths, or hands are around or in their genitals, we can learn to feel the contractions which usually happen with orgasm, and have a pretty good idea of when a partner is having one. Of course, not all men or all women will reach orgasm with intercourse or any other kind of sex all the time.

Sometimes, too, a woman might feel done with sex before a male partner reaches orgasm or ejaculates, just like men might have that experience. After all, we all have ways of getting ourselves to orgasm, too, for those times when our partner is not feeling well, has lost the mood or is just plain tuckered out. In fact, sometimes we may want to have sex with a partner that is entirely about pleasing them, about their bodies and genitals more than our own or exclusive of our own altogether.

Not all people feel done with sex just because they reached an orgasm, either done for their own pleasure, nor done when it comes to their partner. If you ask me, when any two or more people are sexually active together, if everyone is doing it for the right reason and really invested in each other, none of us is really going to feel done unless we both feel done. Hopefully, that fills in the gaps for you. And by all means, if your sex education had a gap like this you saw, you might want to pipe up and say something.

Here are a few extra links for you which may fill some additional gaps in your education:

Tell me what is sex

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1 Comments

  1. They don't even feel one should have romance together to have sex with somebody. But at school, we also cuss and ditch classes, and our parents don't even know about it until grades or reports go out. Teens often tell me their belief that "what a parent doesn't know won't hurt them" is fostered by their parents' reaction whenever the teen does try to bring up a sensitive topic, especially sex.

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