Reprinted by permission of Grand Central Publishing. It took a lot of time, a lot of effort, and was difficult as fuck to master. Convincing girls to participate in an act that parents, teachers, and doctors have painted in a negative light since they were old enough to understand is no easy task.
As guys, the deck was completely stacked against us and opportunities were few and far between, but when those girls waved bye bye to their parents, teachers, and doctors, the game changed. With the freedom of college came an entirely different outlook. Campus was basically a sex commune. Every night the BAC of the student body took a sharp turn upward and the odds of getting a girl in bed improved dramatically for even the most unsightly scholars.
This was even truer for those of us fortunate enough to be members of upstanding Greek organizations with tilted moral compasses and a never ending supply of alcohol. Four specific experiences took me through the progressive stages of my own sexual awakening during school, each of which was important for different reasons.
Busch League As a freshman on a campus filled with morally loosened girls, I had no idea how to handle the clashing lifestyles of binge drinking and sexual promiscuity. That quickly became clear with Allison and the cannon incident during rush, and my failure to bang Amy on bid night, but I got better as I went and had my successes with girls like Lacey at the frat castle.
There was plenty of opportunity to gain experience and become a drunken intercourse artist, because everyone in college parties for the same reason: The alcohol was really just mental lubricant. It had even become the norm to get some mid party action, like a dance floor over the pants handjob OTPHJ. In the middle of a spring rush party at the Alpha house, I ended up in a heated sexual dance off with a girl named Britney.
She was a skinny, tan, blonde Kappa and I badly needed to tap that. After locking eyes across the crowded dance floor she wiggled her way over to me, and just a few songs later we stumbled out the door toward my dorm.
Like the Karate Kid before Mr. Miyagi, I lacked experience, but possessed raw talent. We were both freshmen, we were both shitfaced, and we both wanted something good to tell our friends the next day. I awkwardly poked my dick around between her legs as her eyes widened with anticipation, and finally she reached down to guide me inside.
A quick mental note was filed away in my brain that she was not only girl no. She felt it, and smiled up at me in contentment, which caused me to totally lose my cool, and I immediately started jackhammering away like a rabbit having an epileptic seizure.
I squeezed her right boob like a stress ball with one hand while the other rested on the bed, awkwardly close to her left hand, and as she inched her fingers closer to mine I could tell she wanted me to hold it. She moaned, arched her back, and whispered my name, sending my heart rate through the roof and increasing the speed of my humping.
I made eye contact with her for a second, and awkwardly looked away as fast as possible, which I immediately regretted.
I was running my train full speed ahead down the tracks with no brakes. There was no fucking way I was switching positions.
This was a straight missionary onslaught. She sighed with pleasure, grabbed my ass hard with both hands, and started moaning my name loudly in my ear. I put both my hands above her shoulders and locked my arms out, basically in push up position, giving myself a solid view of her boobs as they bounced from my super speed pelvic humping, and conveniently distancing myself from her nonstop shrieking of my name. I was getting close to a penile volcanic eruption, so I tried to occupy my mind by reciting the presidents of the United States I could remember.
I erupted like Mount Vesuvius inside her, awkwardly staring over at Monte with a look of horror on my face while I came. I frantically pulled out and rolled over off her, but the damage was done. I lay next to her with one arm folded behind my head, too satisfied with how fucking awesome the night was to occupy my mind with the fact that my performance was totally Busch League.
If I could spend every night like this but it had to end with Monte busting in as I crossed the finish line, I would be okay with that. Overcoming Obstacles After a camo themed mixer during the fall of my sophomore year, I ended up inside the Tri Delt house with a blonde senior who had legs like a runway model.
Spending the night inside a sorority house was like breaking into a fucking casino vault. Even if you managed to sneak in without security or the house mom noticing, you still had to avoid all the other girls in the house on the way to her bedroom, because one of those cock blocking gossip queens was bound to rat you out. This girl was hot as fuck, and twenty one years old.
This story was already worthy of sharing at my next chapter meeting before it even developed. I was at least fourteen drinks and 20 millis of Adderall deep, so my brain and dick were in full mutiny against me. My mind raced as I took her pants off with one hand and tried to wake my dick up with the other. Adderall dick is a real problem with no known cure.
I was wearing a camouflage bandana around my forehead, and combat boots. She was as naked as the day she was born, with black and green stripes painted up and down both arms, and eye black, which was smudged down her face thanks to alcohol and party sweat. For the better part of a half hour I struggled valiantly, switching between receiving a seriously impressive blowie from this incredibly understanding woman and thwacking my soft dong between her legs in search of an entryway.
She had obviously dealt with her fair share of beer penis over the years, and was pulling out all the stops to make absolutely sure she got laid. Even on blowjob attempt no. As she violently bobbed her head, desperate to breathe life back into my dick, I considered telling her to stop and throwing in the towel.
She had just done what science had failed to do since the dawn of Adderall. How I had managed to stumble into the room dressed like a wasted G. Joe and not even take a glance at the insanely attractive brunette sleeping in the bed just a few feet away is beyond me. The girl whose mouth my manhood currently inhabited and whose name I had forgotten gave a moan of approval. I snapped into action, threw her legs over my shoulders, and slid home.
This was the most turned on I had ever been in my life. She wrapped her legs around me and I looked back over at the roommate, who was sucking her middle finger like a Popsicle. She switched to her pointer finger, then ran them both slowly down her stomach below the sheets.
I looked down at the girl I was inside of, and she started to turn her head, presumably to check if her roommate was awake. I grabbed her by the chin and kissed her to keep her focus on me.
She grabbed for one of her pillows and pressed it to her face, moaning into it as I stroked away while never breaking my wide eyed staredown with the roommate as she bit her bottom lip and fingered herself.
After a couple minutes I flipped her over into doggie style and she put her face back into the pillow to stay quiet. Her sexy ass roommate was squeezing her tits with one hand while the other kept busy beneath the sheet.
My dick had reached diamond status, and Kristen? I winked at her roommate, and she shivered noticeably, aggressively sliding her other hand beneath the sheet as well. I was laying some serious pipe, with one hand on each of her hips pulling her back into me.
She seemed to be enjoying the position, and I turned to check on her roommate again. The possibly crazy nympho was now completely uncovered and shamelessly touching herself with both knees up and her toes curled down. She stared into my eyes again, her mouth agape with pleasure as she worked her fingers faster and faster toward orgasm, and she was taking me right along with her.
But without warning, the girl whose name I was pretty sure started with a K turned and caught her roommate staring at me and masturbating. I looked over at the roommate, but to my disappointment she had rolled over and was pretending to be asleep. On the way out of the house I gave zero fucks if anyone saw me or not. I whistled as I strolled down the hallway and passed one girl coming out of the restroom in her night slip. She rolled her eyes at me and ducked back into the bathroom to wait until I passed.
I would never know. I still had a lot to learn. She was nineteen and went to Ole Miss. We obviously both had great fake IDs, and after we locked eyes at the bar I walked over to her. Three minutes after that she was pulling her skintight dress off and getting into the hot tub wearing black boy shorts and a red laced bra that screamed, I knew someone would fuck my brains out tonight.
She had long brown hair and the kind of tits that cause flat, jealous girls to beg their dad for a boob job. After a few fun rounds of slap the bag wine chugging and some flirty touching, I went in for the kill. Immediately I could tell that this girl knew what she was doing.
She straddled me, took off her bra, and let it sink away beneath the bubbling hot water. I buried my face in her chest and she grabbed the bag of wine off the hot tub, slapped it, and took a mouthful while I motorboated her fantastic boobage.
At that moment I wanted to marry her. Then she took it to a whole other level. The next thing I knew she was submerged, ripped my boxers off, and started performing the greatest amateur underwater fellatio in the history of man.
I did the only thing I could do and took a swig of wine to keep my brain from short circuiting due to sensory overload. Her legs floated up behind her as she passionately worked but somehow never came up for air. I had become a human snorkel. A minute passed as I sat in pleasure with my jaw dropped. She came up for a quick oxygen refill gasp and then went back under without a word. Another minute passed and I saw her black boy shorts float up next to me. In one fluid motion she resurfaced and pounced, wrapping her legs around me like a sexual spider monkey.
This girl knew things, things that I needed to learn, and I intended on letting her teach me. For at least a half hour she whispered commands and I willfully obeyed like a good student should. We both grabbed towels, headed down the stairs, and stumbled toward the beach, sloppily making out the whole hundred yards. When we were close to the ocean she jumped onto my back and wrapped her legs around me, sending us both to the sand.
She unwrapped the towel from my waist and started riding me reverse cowgirl, screaming toward the ocean while I stared up at the stars and wondered if life would ever be this good again.