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I think I understand the three-drink minimum now. You're not enjoying the revue? Frankly, I'm more concerned about my own review in the Times. Oh, my God, right, your book's reviewed this week. You must be so excited. She's the Times' book critic. I thought you were suggesting an appetizer. I think they're bringing us home. How could you not love this? Look at my boyfriend.
And he can kick. My boys Marcus Adante He's great, don't you think? They're gonna do an encore. I have to go to the ladies' room. Who would have thought the phrase, "Go see your cousin Debbie's club act" could contain such horror? I thought there'd be at least one straight guy here. I mean, if not in the audience, then at least behind the bar.
Hold on, 'cause tomorrow, we're gonna cruise the cute pretzel guys at the Village Square Market. Is that as sad as that just sounded? If it makes you feel any better, I had a thing for the Amish guys who make hairbrushes. Hi, you're Carrie Bradshaw. I recognized you from your column.
And I went out with Aidan right after you. I'm telling you, it was a hit-and-run. No, it was a face-and-run. Yeah, that ain't good. I think you're being oversensitive, and it was a facial spasm or something. A lot of people have them, like Bell's palsy. No, it was not Bell's palsy. It was a full-frontal attack of the face like: You really screwed him up good. I didn't have time to say anything.
She just ran out of the bathroom. Fuck that fucking face girl. I haven't slept for days. Brady's been crying non-stop. Can I do anything? What's wrong with him?
No, he's not sick. He's not hungry, he's not teething, he just wants to scream. I'm doing everything I can, but I can't please him. If he was 35, this is when we would break up. He has issues, clearly. I'm telling you, this pound meatloaf is pushing me over the edge.
All of my clothes smell like barf. I don't have time to shower, much less get a haircut. You have no idea how hard it was to get this appointment. Hi, it's Samantha Jones. I'm calling to confirm my appointment Saturday for a cut-and-color with John. Magda is waiting for me. Time to go back to prison. Actually, I have a few questions because I'm meeting with the divorce lawyer on Monday. Ask him if I could get an injunction to stop a face.
Have a nice day. Miranda, call me if you need anything. Why is that girl still bothering me? Honey, you have to let it go. If I worried what every bitch in New York said about me, I'd never leave the house. Early Monday morning, Charlotte met with her lawyer. He was smart, tough, and gorgeous. You said you had some bad feelings about your mother-in-law, Bunny MacDougal. I get a sense from her lawyer this is going to be a bit of a battle. It was a battle, all right.
The battle of the Charlottes. The Charlotte who wanted to seem attractive to her adorable lawyer and the Charlotte who wanted to kick Bunny MacDougal's ass. It looks to me that Mrs. MacDougal has been very busy hiding assets to make sure you don't get anything. I just really want what was promised. I want my apartment. Technically, it's not your apartment. Trey's family owns it. She was very careful to ensure your name was not on the deed.
Trey gave me that apartment. Usually, I'm a very refined person. With your husband out of the country, I'm gonna need you to be more specific. Charlotte realized she could never be as ugly as she needed to be in front of a man she considered so handsome.
Sorry to bust in. There's a bagel here with my name on it. My partner, Harry Goldenblatt. I'm handling her divorce. You're in the right hands here. Who the hell ordered blueberry bagels? I'm talking to Thelma about this. Good luck to you. Is he a killer, too? And just like that, Charlotte changed lawyers. After a grueling day, which included leg, eyebrow, and bikini waxes, Samantha decided to reward herself with a night of R and R.
Unfortunately, her favorite vibrator needed a little CPR. I cannot read your mind. I said I was sorry, but I have a baby and sometimes babies make noise. That's what they do. I have a baby, too. And if you ever bothered to say hello in the elevator, you'd know that.