SHARE Compared with men, it takes most women longer to become sufficiently aroused to enjoy genital play. Usually, a lot longer. Men should slow down—then slow down more.
Gently caress her everywhere else. Every square inch of the body is a sensual playground, and many women feel disappointed that so many men focus on only a few corners. Gently run your fingers through her hair.
Slowly fondle her ears, her face, neck, shoulders, arms, the small of her back, her sides, the backs of her knees. All these areas—and everywhere else—can sizzle with erotic sensation and contribute to her responsiveness and enthusiasm as a lover. In lovemaking, ticklishness often means discomfort. Different women have different ticklish spots. The Subtle Art of Kissing One type of erotic touch that rarely gets its due is kissing. Kissing is a dance that involves constant interplay of lips, tongues, and moist warm breath.
Brush her lips with yours. Gently nibble her lips. Run your tongue over her lips. Breasts and nipples are very sensitive. Be very gentle with them, especially nipples. Caress them lightly with your fingers, lips, and tongue. Once aroused, some women enjoy somewhat firmer nipple caresses, perhaps even pinching.
Check in with her about when she likes what kind of nipple fondling. Ask if she feels ready for breast or genital play. Delaying breast and genital play heats up the anticipation and allows women the time they need to respond to genital sex.
Now, some men like their penises fondled early in lovemaking. Feel free ask for it: Ask how much non-genital touch your lover would like before you touch her between the legs. The vaginal lips develop from the same cells that, in men, become the scrotum.
Do you like your scrotum abused? Fondle her lower lips very gently. As women become sexually aroused, their lips open like flowers. Be extra-gentle with the clitoris. They prefer caresses around it. Ask your lover what she likes.
Sexual arousal begins with increased blood flow into the genitals. In men, this produces erection, in women, vaginal lubrication. When are women ready for intercourse? Instead, explore post-orgasmic sensuality. Hold each other close. Kiss one another in unusual places. Try some light massage. The Classic Art of Lovemaking. What do you think of them? How long does it take you to become fully aroused?
And what kinds of caresses arouse you most? Men would love to know.