Sunday October 23, Doc, could you give my husband and me a good advice? We have access to a swimming pool, and it is a real nice, private place.
Several times in the last few years, he has said to me that he would love to have sex with me in the pool. But I am not so sure. I don't have any objections on moral grounds, or anything like that. But what I am wondering is if that kind of 'underwater intercourse' could harm a woman's body. Do you think the water could get inside me, Doctor? Also, I still have some hopes of having another baby.
What would happen if I got pregnant while having sex in the pool? Quite a lot of couples do like to make love in water from time to time. Possible locations include the sea, and jacuzzi-type baths, and also swimming pools. Men tend to be real keen on 'sex in the pool', because there is something in the male psychological make-up which makes them interested in trying out new locations for intercourse.
As for women, a number of them do get to like 'sex in the water', once they grow used to it - and as long as they feel sure that they are not going to be discovered or interrupted. But does underwater love-making carry any risks? Some years ago, I was asked this question by a woman who wanted to try it with her husband.
I, therefore, spoke to a number of gynaecologists at a medical meeting in New York, and asked them what they thought. Without exception, they all said that underwater sex was OK. Yes, some water does enter the woman's vagina. But provided the water is clean, that does not matter. I am assuming that this swimming pool is properly maintained, and that it does not contain abnormal amounts of chemicals.
Last, you ask about conceiving a baby under the water. Again, I asked the gynaecologists about that and they said that there was no problem, and that the water could not get anywhere near the site of conception, or affect the child in any way.
I should add that making love underwater is not quite as easy as it might seem. The water tends to wash away the woman's lubricating juices, and that can be a problem. Also, unless you are both good swimmers, I would recommend that you do NOT try it in the deep end of the pool. Next time my wife goes to the United States of America, she is thinking of getting one of those 'hormone ring' contraceptives. I understand that they go in the vagina.
But would I be able to feel it during sex, doc? And would it interfere with our love-making? The vaginal hormone ring, known as 'NuvaRing', is a pretty good contraceptive. The idea is that the woman inserts it into herself, and leaves it in there for three weeks. Then she takes it out, and has a week's 'break' - following which, she puts a new ring in.
So, NuvaRing is really like a kind of vaginal version of the Pill. Perhaps the most important thing to bear in mind about it is that when she has had her week's break, your wife must remember to insert the fresh ring. Otherwise, she will probably get pregnant. As it relates to sex, you probably won't be able to feel the ring during intercourse.
But you might feel it with your fingers during 'foreplay'. This really doesn't matter at all. I have never been consulted by a couple who found that the ring caused them any problems with their sex life. Doctor, I have just formed a relationship with a woman who is much younger than me.
To be frank, she gets me real excited. But what is making me fret is this. Years ago, I had a friend who experienced a fatal stroke during sex. Is there a risk of a stroke happening, if I got over-excited?
As I expect you know, strokes 'cerebro-vascular accidents' are common in Jamaica, particularly among those who have 'pressure'. But the chance of having one during sexual intercourse is low, even if you are real excited. I am a year-old woman. I have never used tampons. Two years ago, I lost my virginity.
And it still hurts whenever my husband enters me during sex, even when I am wet. Would I feel the same pain if I started using tampons? Sounds to me like you have a slight degree of the common female ailment called 'vaginismus'. That is a condition is which the vaginal muscles go into a spasm, whenever an approach is made to the sex organs. Women with vaginismus find sex painful, and are terrified of tampons.
In fact, there is nothing to be frightened of, because in reality the vagina is a very roomy organ, and has plenty of space for a tampon. I feel that what you should do now is to consultant a sympathetic woman doctor, preferably one who has been trained in family planning. They know about special ways to help a female relax her vaginal muscles. Once you have learned the technique of relaxation, you will be able to insert tampons without difficulty.
You should also find sex much more comfortable. My wife has treated me disgracefully, and I now realise that the child who I thought was mine is in fact another man's son! I believe you said in The Gleaner that a man who is in my situation could sue his wife, and also sue the father of the child. And how would I go about it? I am sorry to hear about all this.
Are you absolutely sure that the poor child isn't yours? Generally, one needs DNA testing in order to be absolutely certain. As regards the legal position, I am not a lawyer. But I can tell you that recently a guy in St Catherine has sued a lady who allegedly gave him 'jacket'. The final outcome of that case will not be known until the end of November. Your best course now would be to consult a lawyer, and see what he or she says about the possibility of DNA testing, and whether it would be worth launching a lawsuit.
But I urge you to think hard about the welfare of that little boy, who presumably still believes that he is your son. Please ponder very carefully before you do anything that might cause deep distress to this unfortunate child. At the age of only 38, I suddenly lost my nature. I tried some Viagra, which I bought from the Internet.
But it did not work. Well, away from Viagra there are two other oral tablets used to treat erectile dysfunction. But you should go and see a doc, who can give you a good check-up to find out why you are having erection problems. Also, please bear in mind that the 'Viagra' you bought via the Net may be fake!