When can you start having sex after birth? But being prepared is half the battle. Here, some important guidelines on sex after vaginal and c-section births—and, to set your mind at ease, stories about their first-time experiences of postpartum sex from real-life moms. Sex After Baby Most OBs tell their patients to wait at least four to six weeks to have sex after birth, but the truth is, moms are waiting anywhere from a couple weeks to, well, months and months to have sex after baby.
Just think carefully before you make the decision to have sex again. Some moms report painful sex after birth. Others have no pain. Chalk it up to the same reasons some women breeze through pregnancy without morning sickness or hemorrhoids: Painful sex after baby can be caused by a number of different factors.
You might have had a repair that is a little bit tight. Riley says the non-water based lubricants can actually dry you out! You should also ask your partner to focus on the foreplay to help you get in the mood for sex after pregnancy. Even though you may feel fine, you may find that painful sex after c-section is mostly related to your healing incision rather than vaginal tears or stitches.
Bleeding After Sex Postpartum Another not-so-fun thing about sex after baby is that it may cause you to start bleeding again. We know—been there, done that. There are two main causes of bleeding after postpartum sex: Regardless of how you gave birth, you can be sure that your cervix has been through a lot over the past nine months, so sex after giving birth will likely cause some light bleeding due to this irritation.
For a host of reasons—some obvious and some not as much—many moms find that they have a low sex drive after baby. Here are some of the top reasons for having no sex drive after baby.
Your hormones are out of whack. We all know that pregnancy and birth bring on a roller coaster of emotions and hormones, and as a result, you may find yourself uninterested in sex. Not only that, estrogen levels plummet after birth and during breastfeeding. This is what prevents ovulation, but it also leads to vaginal dryness, which can exacerbate painful sex after birth.
After having a baby attached to you quite literally all day and most of the night, you may just want two seconds of peace and quiet when you hit the sack for the night. Many moms find that they feel incredulous and even a bit angry that their partner feels justified in delaying their sleep, even for a few minutes! Some women say postpartum sex gets back to normal within a few times.
For others it takes a little longer—sometimes up to a year, says Riley—but they do get there. Plan a date night that leads up to the main event. Take a bath together. Engage in plenty of foreplay, focusing on both partners. So what do other mamas say sex after pregnancy was like?
It did not feel comfortable, even going slow and using lots of lube. My advice to you would be to not try for your first time on your anniversary—that's really just going to add a lot of pressure to something that can already be a little difficult. It didn't hurt at all. I was totally scared at first, but it was great! I won't lie—it was around two weeks.
We took it easy, so as not to cause any pain. I had a c-section so I didn't expect any pain, but it hurt! I totally felt like I was a virgin all over again! It hurt so much at first that I thought we were going to have to stop, but after a lot of deep breaths and having my husband go very slowly, it turned out to be okay. The odd thing is, that after the pain subsided, and we kept going, I ended up having one of the best orgasms ever.
I had fourth-degree tears. It was painful, but we used a ton of lube. After the first couple of times, it didn't hurt anymore, and sex felt the same as it had pre-pregnancy.
For me, it felt like losing my virginity again. I lost all my baby weight, but I feel so flabby and I have so many stretch marks. And things were back to pretty much business as usual after just a few attempts. I'd had a second-degree tear, and I could feel where that had been. There is also a position that we pretty much can never do again—ever—because of a weird sensitive spot I'd never had before.
It had been 10 months for us, because I was put on pelvic rest, and the goal was to just have it with as little pain as possible. And it wasn't bad for me at all. I was all afraid for nothing. If you're feeling self-conscious about your body, remember that your husband loves you.
If he's anything like mine, he won't care at all [about the changes]. If you want to do something to feel better, get some babydoll lingerie that covers your breasts and midsection and makes you feel pretty.