The bad news is that the second half of life brings sexual changes, and changes are never easy. With simple adjustments, physical intimacy after 40, 50, 60 and beyond can feel as satisfying as ever—or even better—and deepen the love you share.
Age-related sexual changes begin between 40 and Many women also start to experience vaginal dryness, which can make intercourse uncomfortable. Fortunately, a personal lubricant is usually a quick, effective fix. Meanwhile, between 40 and 50, most men start to experience erection changes. Erotic daydreams are no longer are enough to raise one.
Men need direct genital fondling with vigorousness increasing with age. This is not erectile dysfunction ED. It's middle-age erection dissatisfaction. ED means an inability to raise erections during sustained masturbation. Still, to older men with erection dissatisfaction, those iffy, balky erections can be unnerving.
Upsetting as sexual changes after 40 may be, they make evolutionary sense. The biological purpose of life is to reproduce life. Meanwhile, men can father children into old age, but until fairly recently in our species' evolution, few men lived beyond 40 and even fewer fathered children late in life. As a result, there was no evolutionary reason to preserve reproductive function past that age.
But these days, as age-related sexual changes occur, most older couples keep trying to have intercourse. Lubricants and erection drugs usually help … for a while. After 50, sexual changes continue. These changes make intercourse more problematic—and for many older couples, impossible.
Retiring from being lovers makes relationships less intimate and ignores the deep human need to experience gentle, sensual touch. Other couples decide to adjust their lovemaking to accommodate age-related changes.
Doing so means evolving lovemaking away from intercourse and substituting more kissing, cuddling, whole-body massage, toys, and oral sex. Recent studies show that older couples who remain happily sexual evolve their lovemaking away from intercourse. Two studies of thousands of men over 50 show that, despite extensive advertising and media hype, only about 10 percent have even tried erection drugs, let alone become regular users.
Many older men figure: My wife and I not about to let aging interfere with our marital intimacy. Change is challenging, especially sexual changes. But when older couples help each other through the transition away from intercourse, they often discover a deeper, richer eroticism—and love each other even more.
For more on all aspects of sex in the second half of life, visit my site, GreatSexAfter