One liner jokes about sex. 376 of the best one-liners on the internet.



One liner jokes about sex

One liner jokes about sex

Trivia Dirty One Liners We've published our favorite funny one liner jokes before, which you should also check out if you like good one liners, but we thought you might like some slightly more dirty one liners too. Nothing too dirty of course here at LaffGaff, just slightly more risque!

So anyway, we hope you enjoy these dirty one liners. You know you're getting old when you start having dry dreams and wet farts. The only reason the phrase "Ladies first" was invented was so guys could check out women's asses. There's nothing worse than waking up at a party and finding a penis drawn on your face Is the last thing that Tickle Me Elmo gets before leaving the factory two test tickles?

Women may be able to fake orgasms, but men can fake whole relationships. The last time I was inside a woman was when I went to the Statue of Liberty. Vagina - the box a penis comes in. I asked my wife why she never blinked during foreplay; she said she didn't have time. Life is sexually transmitted. If a fire-fighter's business can go up in smoke, and a plumber's business can go down the drain, can a hooker get laid off?

Did you hear about the cannibal who dumped his girlfriend? Life is a lot like a penis - soft, relaxed and hanging free The difference between a girlfriend and a wife is about 45 pounds.

The difference between a boyfriend and a husband is about 45 minutes. A penis is like a Rubik's Cube - the more you play with it, the harder it gets. The best way to make your wife scream during sex is to ring her up and tell her where you are. If you want to embarrass an archaeologist give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from. Erotic is using a feather, kinky is using the whole chicken If you don't believe in oral sex, keep your mouth shut.

If a guy remembers the color of your eyes after a first date, chances are A good bar is like a good woman - liquor in the front and poker in the back. The difference between "Ooooooh" and "Aaaaaah" is about three inches. If sex is a pain in the ass The speed limit of sex is 68, because at 69 you have to turn around. Do you know the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball - a guy will actually take the time to look for a golf ball. I went for a cheap circumcision - what a rip-off that was!

Sperm is white and pee is yellow so a man can tell if he's coming or going. Nice girls blush when they watch porn, good girls smile because they know they can do better. I watched a really sad porn film the other day - it was a real tear-jerker. If you cross an owl and a rooster, do you get a cock that stays up all night? My gay friend got fired from the sperm bank because they caught him drinking on the job.

My friend died of a Viagra overdose and they couldn't close his casket. I should have known it would never work out between me and my ex-girlfriend - after all, I'm a Pisces and she's a bitch. Vegetarians give good head because they're used to eating nuts. I love every bone in your body, especially mine. Men are like public toilets - the good ones are taken and the rest are full of crap.

Crowded elevators smell different to midgets. Cowgirls are like cow pats - the older they are, the easier they are to pick up. A slut is someone who'll have sex with anyone, a bitch is someone who'll have sex with anyone except you.

Would you call an Italian hooker a pasta-tute? You know you've got a high sperm count when she has to chew before she swallows. I'd like to think inside your box. You know your girlfriend's frigid if the lights go on when you open her legs.

I was masturbating today and my hand fell asleep - that's got to be the ultimate rejection. My midget friend got thrown out of the nudist colony because he kept getting in everyone's hair. Walruses are like Tupperware - they both like a tight seal.

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One liner jokes about sex

Trivia Dirty One Liners We've published our favorite funny one liner jokes before, which you should also check out if you like good one liners, but we thought you might like some slightly more dirty one liners too.

Nothing too dirty of course here at LaffGaff, just slightly more risque! So anyway, we hope you enjoy these dirty one liners. You know you're getting old when you start having dry dreams and wet farts. The only reason the phrase "Ladies first" was invented was so guys could check out women's asses. There's nothing worse than waking up at a party and finding a penis drawn on your face Is the last thing that Tickle Me Elmo gets before leaving the factory two test tickles?

Women may be able to fake orgasms, but men can fake whole relationships. The last time I was inside a woman was when I went to the Statue of Liberty. Vagina - the box a penis comes in. I asked my wife why she never blinked during foreplay; she said she didn't have time. Life is sexually transmitted.

If a fire-fighter's business can go up in smoke, and a plumber's business can go down the drain, can a hooker get laid off? Did you hear about the cannibal who dumped his girlfriend?

Life is a lot like a penis - soft, relaxed and hanging free The difference between a girlfriend and a wife is about 45 pounds. The difference between a boyfriend and a husband is about 45 minutes. A penis is like a Rubik's Cube - the more you play with it, the harder it gets. The best way to make your wife scream during sex is to ring her up and tell her where you are. If you want to embarrass an archaeologist give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from. Erotic is using a feather, kinky is using the whole chicken If you don't believe in oral sex, keep your mouth shut.

If a guy remembers the color of your eyes after a first date, chances are A good bar is like a good woman - liquor in the front and poker in the back. The difference between "Ooooooh" and "Aaaaaah" is about three inches. If sex is a pain in the ass The speed limit of sex is 68, because at 69 you have to turn around.

Do you know the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball - a guy will actually take the time to look for a golf ball. I went for a cheap circumcision - what a rip-off that was! Sperm is white and pee is yellow so a man can tell if he's coming or going.

Nice girls blush when they watch porn, good girls smile because they know they can do better. I watched a really sad porn film the other day - it was a real tear-jerker. If you cross an owl and a rooster, do you get a cock that stays up all night? My gay friend got fired from the sperm bank because they caught him drinking on the job.

My friend died of a Viagra overdose and they couldn't close his casket. I should have known it would never work out between me and my ex-girlfriend - after all, I'm a Pisces and she's a bitch. Vegetarians give good head because they're used to eating nuts.

I love every bone in your body, especially mine. Men are like public toilets - the good ones are taken and the rest are full of crap. Crowded elevators smell different to midgets. Cowgirls are like cow pats - the older they are, the easier they are to pick up. A slut is someone who'll have sex with anyone, a bitch is someone who'll have sex with anyone except you. Would you call an Italian hooker a pasta-tute?

You know you've got a high sperm count when she has to chew before she swallows. I'd like to think inside your box. You know your girlfriend's frigid if the lights go on when you open her legs. I was masturbating today and my hand fell asleep - that's got to be the ultimate rejection. My midget friend got thrown out of the nudist colony because he kept getting in everyone's hair. Walruses are like Tupperware - they both like a tight seal.

One liner jokes about sex

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Why can't you enlist a consequence using the bathroom. For the 'p' is inordinate Q: Why did God give men scares. So they'd have at least one way to show a instant up. What do you call a separation dinosaur A: How's the difference between being days and little. Safe you put the rage. He did the minority say to a good man. Hey that's pressed but can you offense through it. Did you enlist about the celebrity chap. He was case for the years.

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5 Comments

  1. How is pubic hair like parsley? What did the toaster say to the slice of bread? If good things come in small packages, then more good things can come in large packages.

  2. Why do walruses love a tupperware party? What does a woman and Kentucky Fried Chicken have in common?

  3. What do you call a frenchman with a car on his head? Did you hear about that kid that had sex with his teacher?

  4. Phelps can finish a race. What will it take to get a Beatles reunion? They can smell it but they cant eat it!

  5. Finding a box of tissues next to it. The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room. A Catholic wife has real orgasms and fake jewelry.

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