Husband's attitude with anal obsession turning me off! By luckylady on May 22, at 8: He has an anal fetish, and I do not. I'm not religiously opposed or otherwise against it. I just don't particularly care for what I've tried of anal play, and I don't really want to try anal sex at this point in my life. Someday maybe, just not now. I'm totally cool with trying to find other ways to appeal to his fantasy. I'm not even opposed to anal play on him.
I just don't want to let him do something to MY body that I am not comfortable with. He feels that because we married young, and were each other's first, I should feel obliged to be open to anything with him, but that just isn't how I am. Actually, he knew that I wasn't in to anal before he married me, however I did not know it was such a big deal to him. He assures me that I am just ignorant. If I only just educated myself, I would realize that anal is pleasurable. I don't know what to do, it's driving a wedge between us.
May 23, at 9: You do keep bringing this up, don't you? Although there are some sexually precocious children, it is often a result of early sexual exposure - either because of abuse or exposure to pornography by access through a relative or friend. Perhaps your facination is more than just being "open-minded?
Some people really love anal sex, while others aren't really interested even after trying it and having good experiences. It's just a personal preference. I believe that people should decide for themselves what they want and what they don't want.
That is your right. MDS May 23, at Fact is that there is nothing wrong with anal sex. Fact is that he enjoys anal. Fact is that you do not currently find anal sex play enjoyable and do not want to take it any further. Opinion is that you would enjoy it if you would just learn more. Learning does not guarantee enjoyment.
Don't let yourself be coerced into something you don't want to do. Loving partners do not coerce their partners. They allow each other the freedom to decide their own preferences. WD May 24, at 1: She gets to decide what she likes. He gets to figure out why he's so fixated. Sounds like he's got some work to do. Deb51 May 23, at 2: Neither one of us has asked for it again, he wanted it at the time.
I guess it satisfied his curosity! If your hubby is DS, please dont do anything that you do not feel confortable with! If your marriage hinges on anal sex, I say you got bigger problems than anal sex! DS May 23, at 2: Castellanos, you are correct about it being "early exposure", however I was never abused and it wasn't pornography. I had discovered, on my own, masturbation by age 8. At 10, I had begun incorporating anal play into my masturbation sessions.
I realized what a wonderful sensation it was for me. I started to question my sexuality, but realized that I am not gay. I like to think of myself as very open minded. Of course I know it's her decision whether she wants to partake in anal play or not. But for me, it's such a wonderful feeling that I can't imagine anyone not trying it out.
I don't mean for her to feel like I'm forcing her to do something she doesn't want to do, more like expanding her horizons, stepping out of the box a little and push her boundaries a little.
It is kind of a fetish for me, however, and not being able to realize said fetish saddens me a good bit. At any rate I'm done here King Juju May 27, at 1: Coercion- is the practice of forcing another party to behave in an involuntary manner whether through action or inaction by use of threats, rewards, or intimidation or some other form of pressure or force. In law, coercion is codified as the duress crime. Such actions are used as leverage, to force the victim to act in the desired way.
The threat of further harm may lead to the cooperation or obedience of the person being coerced. Justify it any way you like, this is what you are doing to your wife. I read these posts of yours in disgust of your complete lack of respect for her wants and opinions. DS May 27, at 7: I'm sorry that you all feel so bad for my wife who is not luckylady for being with me. I don't think of myself as a jerk, which everyone here seems to think otherwise. All I have done is ask my wife to fulfill a fantasy.
She said no, I'm okay with this, but I was asking for help to encourage to change her mind - to help ease whatever apprehensions she has. Instead, I have been met with much hostility in the matter, which I don't find appropriate, constructive, or respectful. Am I wrong to attempt to change her mind?
I have never attempted coercsion, atleast I don't think I have. I understand that it's her body, therefore her choice, but does what I want not matter as well? Does being sex positive only refer to women? Thank you all for responding to my posts in some form or another, however this place has been very little help to me, so this will be me last post in this site. MDS May 30, at 9: Telling your wife she is ignorant and needs to learn more is belittling and manipulative.
Expecting her to like what you like just because you like it is naive at best. Pushing her to be on the receiving end of anal when the idea has no appeal isn't playing nice. Share your toys when you play in the sand box, but don't hit me in the head with your Tonka truck when I'd rather play with the shovel and pail. You shared your love of anal with your wife.
She is willing to let you have your joy. She just doesn't think she wants it for herself. Let her enjoy what she likes in sex. If she ever decides she wants to try the Tonka truck, she will let you know. However, as being the more sexual one in my marriage I can also understand your point.
Yes, I think you deserve to be fulfilled in your marriage sexually. I've said it before that when I married at the young, unexperienced age of 19 I told my husband that if I'm devoting my entire sexual experience to only you than there are no limits to what we do.
Of course that also involves respect for one another and I think that is where you are going wrong. You have to know when to back off. Approach the subject and then back off and let her consider.
She has to feel comfortable to say no and not feel your pressure. I'm sure now she feels so frustrated with you being so pushy that she is totally against the idea now. I would speak to her in a neutral non sexual environment and tell her you would love to try it, yet would respect any decision she makes.
Marriage is all about love, respect and honesty.