Not just randoms either; a lot of media came to me for comment. I usually ignore media requests for commentary much to the frustration of my PR guy, Jeff Chassen , but when Nightline asked me to do an extensive interview about it, I agreed, because I figured this would be a perfect way to get my thoughts on record without having to spend the time writing out something long and exhaustive. They filmed a 30 minute interview with me, 25 about Karen Owens and 5 minutes about the general college sexual experience.
So during a long plane flight I wrote out my basic thoughts: The Duke Fuck List was not written for public consumption: This is the most important thing to remember, and it should color every piece of analysis on this subject: She did NOT intend this list for public consumption and did not ask for this attention. These are her most private thoughts that were written with an audience of her closest friends in mind. We are reading her diary.
Just put yourself in her position: What if someone published your diary, against your wishes? Or printed the lewd conversations you have with your best friends? You know what would happen? We all make mistakes. Why do you think she did that? She did not do this on purpose, and she is freaking the fuck out over the reaction to it. Not many people can handle the spotlight searing into them at full blast. You have to be either very emotionally strong, or crazy, to be able to endure the abuse you have to take when the focus of the world goes onto you.
So before you say anything about her—good or bad—remember that you are evaluating a person based on their private diary that was published without permission. All the negative media commentary about her is bullshit: The first reaction I saw was people calling her a whore, and yelling about how she represents everything wrong with society and women and all sorts of other bullshit.
I mean, come on. She fucked 13 Duke athletes over 4 years of college. I went to Duke for law school and fucked a bunch of undergrad girls when I was there and she seems pretty average for a socially active girl at Duke.
This behavior is very normal. People have been fucking and sucking and doing debaucherous shit since ancient Rome. How many fundamentalist preachers and anti-gay Senators have to get caught fucking men before people understand that the ones who most oppose something in public are usually guilty of it in private? Karen Owens is not an empowered woman: Surely only a dumb sorority girl looking for justification for all the dicks she sucked last weekend would think that.
Then I saw it over and over again…and realized people were serious. I will explain to you what is really going in the simplest terms possible: To most of the guys on her list, Karen Owens was nothing more than life support for a vagina. And that is exactly what she did: Make herself easy and accessible to the guys on her list. I mean, look at how she describes meeting one: Hardly even had a conversation. For a high status guy who gets lots of girls—e.
She tried to make it sound like she was using these guys for her experiment, but that was only the explanation she tacked onto her actions afterwards. The best evidence of that is her words: They see her as nothing more than a cum-dumpster. Pour beer down her throat for two hours, her legs open, shoot your load, and move on. Go look at the actual scores: Pretty much all the rest used her like a dishrag and tossed her out, and she subconsciously graded them lower because of it. What do you think that means when the lowest score goes to the guy who treats her like a hooker, and the highest goes to the one who treats her like a human?
Karen has none of that. That is being blind to the nature of your own life, which is just sad. Calling her empowered is an embarrassing disservice to women who really are empowered. Comparing the two of us: Though she actually mentions me by name in her thesis, I think any comparison between the two of us, either good or bad, is bullshit. We have two meaningful things in common that I can see: If anything, there are more differences than there are similarities, in terms of writing style, humor, content voice, etc.
The only good part was her honesty; anytime she got long-winded and started going into detail, it got tedious and bogged down. Get the fuck out of here with that double standard bullshit. So why is it? There is one main similarity between her writing and mine, and it explains why her list got so much commentary, both good and bad: Her list is something that almost nothing in media is: Raw and authentic and honest, and THAT is why so many people freaked out over it. Christ, one episode of Sex and The City is more scandalous than anything in her list.
No, she got attention because it is what none of that shit is: The average female sex writing is a just an annoying mix of bluster, whore logic, fake confidence and bullshit. Not since Barbie Cummings have I read a female sex blogger with even the faintest shred of willingness to admit to the reality of her most lewd acts, but Karen does that in spades. Whenever anyone does that, especially a girl talking about sex, the world sits up and takes notice.
Because her book was just a jumble of stupid ex-post whore-rationalizations. Her blog was honest and authentic. Why do you think my writing is so popular?
All the liars HATE you for it, and most of the people in the world are liars. If you have the courage to be honest—even a little bit—all those liars will hate you, because your honesty reflects their lie back on them.
There is nothing stupider than holding someone to a standard of behavior and understanding that is decades above their age. I was a fucking idiot at In fact, you know how I learned what I know? How do you understand where your limits are? How do you figure out what you want from life? Try everything and see what fits. How do you know what not to do? Do it, and see how much it sucks. Experimentation and failure instruct, not success.
Did she learn the lessons she should have learned? Will she understand all the things she needs to from her experiences? People are holding her to a standard that they did not meet at her age, or even meet now. When I put up my website, I used my real name. I asked for attention.
Whatever happened after is the consequence of making myself a public figure. Karen Owen is nothing more than a pretty normal 22 year old girl, who made the mistake of trusting a friend with something she never should have. If you would like Tucker's blog posts delivered to your inbox, just put your email here.
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