What good sex means to Indian women What good sex means to Indian women Women have sex for the same reasons men do. Nov 23, , Basic instincts are anything but basic. If the book Why Women Have Sex by clinical psychologist Cindy Meston and evolutionary psychologist David Buss is to be believed, women and sex have almost nothing to do with love.
They have, however, found other reasons. If you thought women were complicated earlier, good luck stroking this one.
After over a thousand interviews, Meston and Buss have managed to fashion a nuanced portrait of female sexuality. Somewhere, love finds a mention. So the question is what makes women tick? Why are Clooney and Saif for us and Dilip Kumar for our mothers still our mental go-to guys? Like it or not, it has little to do with your tailored suit and suave haircut and more to do with your genetic disposition and complimentary MHC Major histo-compatibility gene complex.
This also explains why certain balding, potbellied men find takers sooner than their well-bodied, charming counterparts. Women are known to give brownie points to loyalty and his ability to provide for the family and not just his ability to spread quality spawn. According to studies conducted by International Institute for Applied Systems Analysis in Austria, how women select their mate finds merit in the Darwinian theory of survival of the fittest. It can be annoying, but the study states that picky women are actually the key to survival and biodiversity.
For example, if all women universally liked tall men, short men would be headed for extinction, or men with small feet would find no place in the world. Carnal sexual motivation however, has more options — Revenge, envy, jealousy, money, barter, guilt, punishment, duty, loyalty, a lesson on loyalty, power and domination, to sometimes, pure evil. In effect, they use sex to express love, and to get it, and to try and keep it.
What good sex means to women in Mumbai Shobha De, in one of her observations about sex years ago, had said that earlier women just hitched up their sarees, closed their eyes and thought about Dilip Kumar. Has the scenario changed in urban India as increasingly more women find themselves freed from the shackles of guilt as far as getting some good, therapeutic action goes?
We spoke to women between the ages of and found that while love was a high priority for women, there were several other interesting reasons that prompted them to sleep with men who may not be their knight-in-shining armour.
At least, that's what it felt like then," she says. Virginity is finally losing its spot on the pedestal as the greatest gift you can give to someone you love. Dog training A large number of the women surveyed also described sex as a tool for 'dog training'.
Train the penis, and the man will follow, seemed to be the general philosophy. A year-old banker said she withheld sex in her marriage when she was displeased, and used it when she was in a pliant mood. Women who want to keep the power in the relationship learn to excel at this very quickly. Security A year-old entrepreneur said that her first marriage wasn't promising in terms of sex, but her husband had the right credentials.
But in her second marriage, she is crazy about her man even if she earns more than him and he won't fit the bracket of the 'provider'. Other women felt that sex wasn't as important in the larger scheme of things. A good home and status was enough to keep a good marriage going. Because it's there When we asked a year-old stylist about her motivations for sex, she asked if it was a rhetorical question.
She had a couple of encounters, because, well, they presented themselves. What a revolutionary idea. Have sex simply because it's available. It is gaining popularity as a recreational tool, especially when women are between relationships or just plain bored. The mood lifter Women in high-stress jobs or those feeling low sang praises for the therapeutic properties of sex. Another attractive furniture designer said there was nothing like sex to lift up her mood when she was bummed out.
Sex releases the feel-good hormones and what better way to unwind? And you sleep soundly! To get it over with A year-old HR professional says, "Sometimes you just want to get it over with and move on to the list of chores that you need to finish. The United Colors of Benetton experience Sometimes sex has been a great tool for cultural assimilation, women have found.
A young media professional who did a stint in an American university discovered just that. Another banker, a frequent traveler, said that she was always curious. So I wanted to see if that was true," she admits. Curiosity can be a prime motivator for women to experiment sexually.
And on holiday, the normal rules don't always apply and the anonymity bolsters confidence for women. Infidelity A young IT professional said that she had cheated briefly in her marriage only once. Another hairdresser said that she felt betrayed when she found out that her husband had cheated on her. She slept with a close friend and felt vindicated.
Fear of losing a man A PR professional candidly said that once she had sex for fear of losing her boyfriend in the initial stages of her relationship. She thought that he might lose interest and move on to someone who "was going to give him some.
Women have needs too More and more women are cognisant of their needs and refuse to feel guilty about wanting good sex. A whopping 50 per cent of the women said that "they just wanted some" and cited "hormonal reasons". Two women said they had a friend with benefits. It was convenient and a better than ending up in an arid, sex desert landscape. Rejection and self-esteem A media professional found herself in relationships with two 'losers' back to back.
When she started dating a nice guy, she had planned to 'hold back and make it special'. Another young marketing professional, said that when she realised she had dated a loser, she felt such self-loathing that the only cure was to be found in the arms of a man she was wildly attracted to, even if she was not in a relationship with him.
Sex with a new partner also balances off rejection. Women who've been dumped or ended relationships for practical rather than emotional reasons, may find solace without the emotional investment they may not be ready for. As the marketing professional confessed, it makes you feel 'like you're still wanted'.
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