Recently I had my first experience with another woman and my husband was there. After that he told me I could basically sleep with any women I want, and a man if that's what would make me happy.
I don't believe the part about the man, and honestly the only man I want besides my husband is this other guy! I don't want anything from him but maybe to become friends with benefits, or a one-time deal.
How do I push him over the edge? Should I tell him what my husband said, even though if we had sex I would never tell my husband? I'm confused but don't want to give up because I think it could happen. You've already taken those precarious first dips into open relationship territory with your first bisexual experience, congrats, BTW!
Your husband basically kinda already gave you the go-ahead to fulfill your fantasy. What makes you think he was lying when he said he'd be OK with you getting, uh, a personal fitness lesson from a dude? Because the threesome and the tentative permission to sleep with other people seems pretty ideal, NG. What would mess up this great situation would be sleeping around behind your husband's back or lying about it. Wouldn't you rather give your husband the benefit of the doubt, 'fess up about your crush I'd probably leave out the part about how you already propositioned him for sex , and see if you can negotiate some hot, consensual, on-the-side action that leaves no hurt feelings for anyone?
Especially considering that you seem to want a casual or one-time fling, it seems like a totally do-able forgive the pun arrangement. I know that's a scary conversation to have after almost 10 years of monogamy, but it's far preferable to have a scary talk than it is to break your husband's trust not to mention your own integrity.
If your assumptions are correct, however, and his wang promise was not in earnest, then you'll have to console yourself by sleeping with lots of attractive women. Either way, I don't see how it's not a win. Dear Anna, I'm getting married soon, eeeeeek! How can I be really, truly sure we're compatible? But if you want the time-weathered, true-love compatibility test I used, it's that my girlfriend photocopied her butt and gave it to me as a Valentine's Day present.
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