I need sex more often than i get it. Why Some Couples Have So Much More Sex Than Others.



I need sex more often than i get it

I need sex more often than i get it

In heterosexual marriages , the happier people are with their sexual lives, the happier they are with their relationships. And if you want to know how much a newlywed couple is enjoying and having sex -- and really, who doesn't -- then look at their personalities. Specifically, look at the wife's personality. If she's super curious about life and easy to be around, it's more likely that the couple is getting laid, or so says a new study.

The man's personality, on the other hand, doesn't seem to have much of an effect on how often the couple has sex. Meltzer and James K. McNulty asked participants to keep daily diaries -- a more reliable way of measuring sexual frequency than asking people to retrospectively remember -- and take a personality test of their so-called Big Five personality traits, the most agreed-upon personality model.

Unlike the Myers-Briggs and its peers, the Big 5 has repeatedly held up in empirical testing. The traits are conscientiousness, or how likely you are to be on time to meetings and reply to emails; agreeableness, or how eager you are to please people; openness to experience, or how much you crave adventures; neuroticism, or how much you react to the sundry difficulties of life; and extraversion, or how much you want to hang out.

For a book-length survey, read Me, Myself, and Us: The researchers asked three different samples of newlyweds, mostly aged between their mids and earlys, to keep the diaries for two weeks, writing down what they did that day. They were asked to report whether they had sex every day, and, if they did, how satisfied they were with it on a seven-point scale. The couples averaged having sex on three to four days in that two-week period.

Previous studies have found that men want and initiate sex more than women, the authors say, prompting women to be labeled as "the 'gatekeepers' of sex within relationships.

The higher a wife rated on openness to experience or agreeableness, the more often the couple had sex. The husband's personality, on the other hand, was not a predictor of sexual frequency. In this case, both partners' personalities mattered.

For men and women, higher levels of neuroticism were linked with lower levels of satisfaction. Intriguingly, husbands' openness was negatively correlated with satisfaction, while for wives it was the opposite. And it was the individual's personality -- not their partner's -- that correlated with satisfaction. But, as the authors note, this study -- comprising 14 days for couples who are perhaps still in the honeymoon phase -- should not be taken as representative of all couples in all stages of relationships of all time.

Plus, it would also be useful to get more queer relationships in the mix, and Meltzer told Science of Us that future research would benefit from examining them. Also, since so much of sexuality is informed by culture and upbringing, it would be fascinating to see how people in more "liberated" areas like New York or San Francisco compare with those in more conservative enclaves.

But no one really knows how much sex a "happy" couple -- married or not -- is "supposed" to have.

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I need sex more often than i get it

In heterosexual marriages , the happier people are with their sexual lives, the happier they are with their relationships. And if you want to know how much a newlywed couple is enjoying and having sex -- and really, who doesn't -- then look at their personalities. Specifically, look at the wife's personality. If she's super curious about life and easy to be around, it's more likely that the couple is getting laid, or so says a new study. The man's personality, on the other hand, doesn't seem to have much of an effect on how often the couple has sex.

Meltzer and James K. McNulty asked participants to keep daily diaries -- a more reliable way of measuring sexual frequency than asking people to retrospectively remember -- and take a personality test of their so-called Big Five personality traits, the most agreed-upon personality model. Unlike the Myers-Briggs and its peers, the Big 5 has repeatedly held up in empirical testing. The traits are conscientiousness, or how likely you are to be on time to meetings and reply to emails; agreeableness, or how eager you are to please people; openness to experience, or how much you crave adventures; neuroticism, or how much you react to the sundry difficulties of life; and extraversion, or how much you want to hang out.

For a book-length survey, read Me, Myself, and Us: The researchers asked three different samples of newlyweds, mostly aged between their mids and earlys, to keep the diaries for two weeks, writing down what they did that day. They were asked to report whether they had sex every day, and, if they did, how satisfied they were with it on a seven-point scale.

The couples averaged having sex on three to four days in that two-week period. Previous studies have found that men want and initiate sex more than women, the authors say, prompting women to be labeled as "the 'gatekeepers' of sex within relationships.

The higher a wife rated on openness to experience or agreeableness, the more often the couple had sex.

The husband's personality, on the other hand, was not a predictor of sexual frequency. In this case, both partners' personalities mattered. For men and women, higher levels of neuroticism were linked with lower levels of satisfaction. Intriguingly, husbands' openness was negatively correlated with satisfaction, while for wives it was the opposite.

And it was the individual's personality -- not their partner's -- that correlated with satisfaction. But, as the authors note, this study -- comprising 14 days for couples who are perhaps still in the honeymoon phase -- should not be taken as representative of all couples in all stages of relationships of all time. Plus, it would also be useful to get more queer relationships in the mix, and Meltzer told Science of Us that future research would benefit from examining them.

Also, since so much of sexuality is informed by culture and upbringing, it would be fascinating to see how people in more "liberated" areas like New York or San Francisco compare with those in more conservative enclaves.

But no one really knows how much sex a "happy" couple -- married or not -- is "supposed" to have.

I need sex more often than i get it

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2 Comments

  1. So many men have told me that their wives' nagging about such issues really turns them off.

  2. In good relationships, people do things for their partners all the time that may not be exactly what they feel like doing at the moment.

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