And sometimes he has a really low sex drive , and so the whole initiation pattern is thrown off. Paul Byerly, who writes at the Generous Husband , puts it this way: For men sex communicates love and acceptance, while a lack of sex communicates the opposite. I realise this is not usually what women are communicating with sex and saying no, but it is what men feel. Even when you convince a man this is not what she means, he will still feel it. The need was always there, but it is hard to hear over the much louder need for sexual intimacy.
But how do you initiate sex? DO Show Enthusiasm Initiating sex requires enthusiasm. The following do NOT count as initiating sex: Lying in bed, arms crossed. Turning head towards him. We can if you wanna. Standing at the bottom of the stairs, heading up to bed. If you come up within the next 10 minutes we may still have time, I guess.
Lying in bed, looking at the ceiling. So, I shaved my legs today. Because often as soon as the thought pops into our heads we talk ourselves out of it. Do I want to tonight? It is kind of late, and I do need my sleep.
He hardly hugged me when he came home from work. I just feel so distant right now. And what if the kids wake up? When you get the thought, pounce on it and pounce on HIM, too! Anything else somehow upsets the apple cart.
But good girls DO want sex! God gave us sex drives, too. And inside marriage sex is supposed to be a wonderful thing for both of you!
Think about it this way: This is the only man on earth who can touch you like that. I know that can be a hard transition to make. My husband was leaving for a business trip for a week recently, and he was spending the morning before he was picked up sorting papers and paying bills and getting some tasks done around the house.
I kept getting up from my computer whenever he got up from his and walking over and seeing if I could get him interested in something, but I never let him know what I was doing. Come up behind him, wrap your arms around him, start nibbling his ear, and let your hands wander.
Rest your hand in a creative place. Or lead him to the bedroom—but not with HIS hand. You can get things going without saying any words, if the words make you shy. Want to turn it up a notch? If sex has become ho hum in your marriage, and you know you need to make some changes, then pick up the 31 Days to Great Sex!
DO Be Creative Initiating sex can start earlier in the day. You can joke around. It really is okay. And the more laughter, the more fun all around.
Instead of wearing your flannel pyjamas, get into some silk ones. Try putting on a teddy! Then walk away, and see if he follows. It may seem romantic, but if it will push bedtime back too far, then make love FIRST, before the movie.
Be active as you make love. Be the aggressor—at least a little bit. Find a good position yourself. Get on top even! Remember our Top 10 Tuesday strategy: Just find the tips on how to initiate sex that resonate the most with you.
Small changes now can add up to big changes in the long run. Now go and have a great time with your man! You may also like: