Most blokes are not that shallow. Thanks to the likes of feminist writers such as Caitlin Moran who derides the trend in her bestseller book, How To Be A Woman, removing all — or most — of our special love triangle has finally come to seem utterly absurd. Moran points out that in porn: We simply don't need the hassle And now, it seems that we long-term pubic horticulturalists have finally come to realise that all modes of hair removal are simply a massive hassle.
Self-shaving is a risky business 33 per cent of those surveyed preferred this method. Partner-shaving is even more dangerous and who — apart from university students — has the time to indulge in such intimacy?
And there are few tortures greater than the itch of growing back a shaven muff. Fifteen per cent of those asked use hair-removal creams smooth on, wait, grimace, sweat, wipe off, weep which have the warming effect of dosing your vagina in acid and leave your bits looking sad, sulky and pink with embarrassment — like a newly-clipped poodle.
And on day two the damn things start to grow back even thicker than before; the lunatic itching begins and the ingrown hairs begin to take root. Professional waxing the choice of 27 per cent of those questioned is the only way to achieve the hair—free look with minimum grow-back agony. It is also excellent practice for the rigours of childbirth offering the ideal opportunity to practise hypnotic visualisations while your most treasured asset is torn asunder.
With a friendly smile she snapped on her rubber gloves and got to work on my rainforest in the manner of all people skilled at working with their hands: I knew she meant business when she leaned in close at the end with tweezers to get at the pesky ones too short to yield to the powers of hot wax. Like all good bikini-line-managers, she establishes if you want to leave a vertical section intact generally known as the Brazilian landing strip and even asks you to check her handy-work upon completion.
But even Angela has noticed the waning popularity of the Brazilian. We mused that it may be down to the colder weather, as though our pubic hair is a sensible fashion choice like a new scarf or a pair of Ugg boots. What about the signals it sends our daughters? Most of us probably gave waxing a whizz out of curiosity and a noble can-do attitude.
And if our kids are underwhelmed by our appearance, it turns out our partners are too. Over 60 per cent of men prefer a more womanly flower. Only teenage boys with more porn than experience could freely express a preference for a hair-free ninky-nonk without sounding like a paedophile. Bev and her husband, James Cracknell While writing this I conducted the very scientific poll of asking my own husband. It would be weird if I preferred that look.
He also says that if he was going loco down in Acapulco we have young children — we talk in code with a woman for the very first time and she had a well-sculpted Brazilian, it might indicate a large audience of regular admirers. I let the discussion about judgemental sexual double-standards go. He did ever so well on the pube question. So you see — while we were fetishising our flaps and fearing the fro below, men were happy with a Bobby Ball style bush all along.
Looks like the mega-bush is here to stay. Stay safe ladies and stay warm.