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Fat men and gay sex

Fat men and gay sex

Tap here to turn on desktop notifications to get the news sent straight to you. The Last Gay Taboo? By Leon Acord 1. At 6 feet and solid pounds, able to bench press , the man resembles Jason Alexander's more attractive, very muscular younger brother. One night, Dan mentioned he liked the new version of the VW Bug. A cast member cracked, "Only because it's shaped like your boyfriend!

If that wasn't an insult, was Dan was a "chubby chaser"? I was full of questions, mostly, "How can someone who looks like you be attracted to guys who look like that? Dan, now a self-described "out-loud chubby chaser living in Los Angeles, a city of hyper-real magazine beauty," lectures, offers private counseling and writes extensively on the topic.

His book Round World: Meanwhile, I'd moved to L. Now, I'm always looking for unique story lines and original angles. As I plotted the show's third season now playing out at odnt. The topic seemed ideal for the perpetually perplexed character Muscles played to perfection by Jeffrey Patrick Olson. Other than as a comic bit in the play and film The Ritz by Terrence McNally, I'd never seen "chubby chasing" as a plot device in a show -- and certainly not as anything other than "the joke.

We're a community that supposedly embraces "fringe elements," yet chubby chasing is still a "joke. Why was it still considered taboo, if not perverse? Determined not to treat the topic as just "the joke" but to explore it as honestly as a minute-per-episode sitcom could, I contacted Dan.

I asked him to be my "story consultant. As we worked on the storyline, Dan led me into a fascinating world I never really understood. He was a very patient tour guide. I now know the difference between "chasers" and "feeders," the meaning of "chub floss," and, as Dan points out, that "objectification works both ways"!

But Dan is so well-spoken; he can explain it all much better than I! So is "chubby chasing" the correct phrase? Is there a new, politically correct phrase? There's no good word that everyone likes. I don't mean just the word. I mean that the more a word directly points to the image of fat, the less acceptable we find it. Imagine being at a swanky party in the s. There was no polite way to say "homosexual," and even less reason to bring it up.

That's why we have euphemisms. So "chubby chaser" is pretty neutral; it points to fat but it's also kinda cute. Some guys take offense at "chaser. In the straight community they use "F.

I admit that "admirer" is more accurate and sounds better, but it's also a bit cold for my taste. We are talking about sexual attraction, not appreciating antique furniture. When did you first notice your interest in big guys? I knew I was into fat when I was 5.

I didn't figure out I was gay until I was Was it something that took a while to understand? Definitely something that took a while to understand. I grew up living next door to a gay couple and lived in an arts dorm in college; I've always been around gay people. But you've seen gay magazines, the kinds of guys in them. I thought they were good-looking, and I even wanted to look like them, and so do a lot of straight guys.

But I never wanted to hop in bed with one or put my dick up his ass, so I figured I wasn't gay. I took years to figure out that fat made such a big difference in my sexuality. How did you come to accept it?

I didn't so much fight against it as remain ignorant of it, how deep it ran. Many other guys fight against it or think of fucking a fat guy as a guilty pleasure or, worse, a dirty secret. Again, the stigma of fat. Remember too that a lot of guys who can't handle their attraction to fat guys often can't even handle being gay.

I hear this a lot. For me it took several long-term relationships that didn't work out to show me just how important that physical aspect was. I didn't dump my ex because he wasn't fat enough.

Actually, he started the break-up process because he said that he didn't feel like I was attracted to him, not the way any other gay guy would be. He said, "Dan, being married to you, I feel like a woman married to a gay man. I came to see the same thing for myself. We're still very close friends. We kept the love and just ditched the bad sex.

How did your interest first manifest itself? I can remember conversations about fat from early childhood. People talking about it, being concerned with it, from when I was 5. Some boys know when they're 5 or 6 that they like men. For me it was fat. Later I was fascinated with really obese guys, sometimes women, but mostly boys my own age.

I was too young to have sexual feelings. But as we know as gay men, that fascination often turns into sexual attraction. How long did it take until you understood that interest? I knew I liked fat guys by the time I was I figured I liked both fat and thin. This is sort of like young gay guys who say that they're bi. Some are, but most are just on their way to being gay. Lots of chasers in their 20s think like this too. It's like when you're a teenager and you'll see any movie that comes out?

Then in your 30s, you start seeing only the movies you like in particular genres. And then in your 40s or 50s, a movie has to really capture your interest for you to go see it. That's what a lot of chasers go through. In our 20s it seems like fat guys are just one type of guy we like. As we mature, however, most of us who are chasers find that fat guys are our decided preference.

I've even had some chasers tell me that for them, sex with a guy who's not fat just isn't worth the effort of getting undressed, let alone setting up a date. It's "Go fat or go home. Many people know what it's like to not like what you're supposed to like -- not just chubby chasers.

Lucas is desperately trying to be normal, trying to not be stuck with the stigma of liking fat, or at least not liking only fat men. But just as many men come to see that they like only gay sex, I and a lot of other chasers have some to see we like only fat sex.

One of my misconceptions when I first started writing was that chasers would try to "fatten up" their partners. You quickly corrected me, pointing out that "feeders" were a very different community altogether. It lead to some last-minute rewrites in our Thanksgiving episode! Chasers are guys who like fat men. Other than that, they're pretty much like other gay guys. Encouragers feeders, as they're called in the straight community are the kinky side of fat.

It might help to know that there are gainers "feedees" in the straight world who want to get fat, or fatter or even enormously obese. Encouragers are their counterpart.

If I told you a guy beats his boyfriend with a belt, you might be alarmed. If I told you the boyfriend likes it, has always liked it, and they've been doing it since their first date, maybe you'd see it differently.

Encouragers get a bad rap because people can't imagine that their partner would want to get fat. Now, there are encouragers who fatten unsuspecting partners for the encourager's sexual pleasure. But we have a word for non-consensual sex; it's called abuse.

Lucas isn't trying to fatten Muscles. But, like many chasers, Lucas sees a good appetite and a disregard for calories as manly.

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Do Gay Guys Have Unhealthier Body Image?



Fat men and gay sex

Tap here to turn on desktop notifications to get the news sent straight to you. The Last Gay Taboo? By Leon Acord 1. At 6 feet and solid pounds, able to bench press , the man resembles Jason Alexander's more attractive, very muscular younger brother. One night, Dan mentioned he liked the new version of the VW Bug. A cast member cracked, "Only because it's shaped like your boyfriend!

If that wasn't an insult, was Dan was a "chubby chaser"? I was full of questions, mostly, "How can someone who looks like you be attracted to guys who look like that? Dan, now a self-described "out-loud chubby chaser living in Los Angeles, a city of hyper-real magazine beauty," lectures, offers private counseling and writes extensively on the topic.

His book Round World: Meanwhile, I'd moved to L. Now, I'm always looking for unique story lines and original angles. As I plotted the show's third season now playing out at odnt.

The topic seemed ideal for the perpetually perplexed character Muscles played to perfection by Jeffrey Patrick Olson. Other than as a comic bit in the play and film The Ritz by Terrence McNally, I'd never seen "chubby chasing" as a plot device in a show -- and certainly not as anything other than "the joke.

We're a community that supposedly embraces "fringe elements," yet chubby chasing is still a "joke. Why was it still considered taboo, if not perverse? Determined not to treat the topic as just "the joke" but to explore it as honestly as a minute-per-episode sitcom could, I contacted Dan. I asked him to be my "story consultant. As we worked on the storyline, Dan led me into a fascinating world I never really understood. He was a very patient tour guide.

I now know the difference between "chasers" and "feeders," the meaning of "chub floss," and, as Dan points out, that "objectification works both ways"! But Dan is so well-spoken; he can explain it all much better than I! So is "chubby chasing" the correct phrase? Is there a new, politically correct phrase? There's no good word that everyone likes. I don't mean just the word. I mean that the more a word directly points to the image of fat, the less acceptable we find it. Imagine being at a swanky party in the s.

There was no polite way to say "homosexual," and even less reason to bring it up. That's why we have euphemisms. So "chubby chaser" is pretty neutral; it points to fat but it's also kinda cute. Some guys take offense at "chaser. In the straight community they use "F. I admit that "admirer" is more accurate and sounds better, but it's also a bit cold for my taste. We are talking about sexual attraction, not appreciating antique furniture.

When did you first notice your interest in big guys? I knew I was into fat when I was 5. I didn't figure out I was gay until I was Was it something that took a while to understand? Definitely something that took a while to understand. I grew up living next door to a gay couple and lived in an arts dorm in college; I've always been around gay people.

But you've seen gay magazines, the kinds of guys in them. I thought they were good-looking, and I even wanted to look like them, and so do a lot of straight guys. But I never wanted to hop in bed with one or put my dick up his ass, so I figured I wasn't gay.

I took years to figure out that fat made such a big difference in my sexuality. How did you come to accept it? I didn't so much fight against it as remain ignorant of it, how deep it ran. Many other guys fight against it or think of fucking a fat guy as a guilty pleasure or, worse, a dirty secret.

Again, the stigma of fat. Remember too that a lot of guys who can't handle their attraction to fat guys often can't even handle being gay. I hear this a lot. For me it took several long-term relationships that didn't work out to show me just how important that physical aspect was.

I didn't dump my ex because he wasn't fat enough. Actually, he started the break-up process because he said that he didn't feel like I was attracted to him, not the way any other gay guy would be. He said, "Dan, being married to you, I feel like a woman married to a gay man.

I came to see the same thing for myself. We're still very close friends. We kept the love and just ditched the bad sex. How did your interest first manifest itself? I can remember conversations about fat from early childhood. People talking about it, being concerned with it, from when I was 5. Some boys know when they're 5 or 6 that they like men. For me it was fat.

Later I was fascinated with really obese guys, sometimes women, but mostly boys my own age. I was too young to have sexual feelings. But as we know as gay men, that fascination often turns into sexual attraction. How long did it take until you understood that interest? I knew I liked fat guys by the time I was I figured I liked both fat and thin. This is sort of like young gay guys who say that they're bi. Some are, but most are just on their way to being gay.

Lots of chasers in their 20s think like this too. It's like when you're a teenager and you'll see any movie that comes out? Then in your 30s, you start seeing only the movies you like in particular genres. And then in your 40s or 50s, a movie has to really capture your interest for you to go see it. That's what a lot of chasers go through. In our 20s it seems like fat guys are just one type of guy we like.

As we mature, however, most of us who are chasers find that fat guys are our decided preference. I've even had some chasers tell me that for them, sex with a guy who's not fat just isn't worth the effort of getting undressed, let alone setting up a date.

It's "Go fat or go home. Many people know what it's like to not like what you're supposed to like -- not just chubby chasers. Lucas is desperately trying to be normal, trying to not be stuck with the stigma of liking fat, or at least not liking only fat men. But just as many men come to see that they like only gay sex, I and a lot of other chasers have some to see we like only fat sex. One of my misconceptions when I first started writing was that chasers would try to "fatten up" their partners.

You quickly corrected me, pointing out that "feeders" were a very different community altogether. It lead to some last-minute rewrites in our Thanksgiving episode! Chasers are guys who like fat men. Other than that, they're pretty much like other gay guys. Encouragers feeders, as they're called in the straight community are the kinky side of fat.

It might help to know that there are gainers "feedees" in the straight world who want to get fat, or fatter or even enormously obese. Encouragers are their counterpart. If I told you a guy beats his boyfriend with a belt, you might be alarmed. If I told you the boyfriend likes it, has always liked it, and they've been doing it since their first date, maybe you'd see it differently.

Encouragers get a bad rap because people can't imagine that their partner would want to get fat. Now, there are encouragers who fatten unsuspecting partners for the encourager's sexual pleasure. But we have a word for non-consensual sex; it's called abuse.

Lucas isn't trying to fatten Muscles. But, like many chasers, Lucas sees a good appetite and a disregard for calories as manly.

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