What's your sex number? Why are women still lying? Women are just as libidinous as men. Yes we're probably yet to acquire as many notches on our bed as men, but today we have twice as many sexual partners in our lifetime as we did 20 years ago and many of us are liberated enough to have as many one night stands as we please.
Why then, when it comes to sex between a man and woman, do women have the propensity to feel more anxious about it? Why do women worry more after sex? We haven't worked out how to judge these women," explains relationship psychologist and coach Susan Quilliam. We're surrounded by pretty mixed messages: Be sexy but not too sexual mind, otherwise you're just a slut.
There's a fine line between sex appeal and taking it too far and I agree with Quilliam that society is unsure as to where that line lies. Author and sex memoirist Claire Dederer noted in an essay published in The Atlantic that female sexuality is still largely mistaken as somehow adhering to a male fantasy. Quilliam remembers the reaction to her personal article which talked about her sex life, "while the press coverage was largely supportive I had to deal with comments from the public calling me a 63 year-old slag".
If society is still uncertain about female sexuality, how can we feel per cent assured that our escapades won't be judged in some way? There must be a degree of internalisation of these messages which prevents us from fully embracing our sexuality. Indeed, Dederer notes how her desire is never all encompassing but instead she describes it as an internal monologue constantly questioning her actions.
Do women take sex to heart more than men? With all this in mind, and do excuse me for going all Carrie Bradshaw on you, but I just couldn't help but wonder, when it comes to sex between men and women Is sex still a man's game? Male friends are pretty exasperated when I posit this, as are several female friends. Meg Barker relationship therapist and author of Rewriting the Rules , says: Twenty years ago in Ireland, where I come from, sex was seen as something subservient, something done solely to please a man.
The same survey last year that concluded women had doubled their number of sexual partners also founded that 44 per cent of men and 51 per cent of women consider themselves to have sexual problem, which are shocking figures.
Several of my more sexually uninhibited female friends look at me quizzically when I ask them if they ever feel unsure about sex, my favourite answer being from Daisy, a 24 year-old actor based in Bristol. What do you mean? It's obvious that you'll only feel as good as you feel comfortable about something. Julia Oliphant, 24, lives and works in London. Both suspect they are suffering from a quarter-life crisis.