Hayley MacMillen Whether you're planning a trip with your partner or merely fantasizing about one, vacation sex likely plays a starring role in your vision. It deserves its reputation as particularly delicious. Stress is your sex life's archenemy, and when you and your partner step away from what stresses you out from day to day work, empty fridges, dirty dishes, kids, if you've got 'em , you may find yourselves as interested in each other as you are in the sightseeing.
If you prepare for it, vacation sex can be the best kind of sex. Since I like to do my research before proffering advice, I volunteered to take my partner to Rendezvous , an all-inclusive couples resort in St. Lucia in the West Indies, to conduct field research and compile vacation-sex best practices for you, dear reader. I know, my job is hard, but someone's got to do it. Advertisement On the menu: Which Rendezvous kindly did for us one night. Click through to discover our findings, and tips for better vacation sex — from which toys to bring to how to shut down conflict before it begins.
In addition to packing your butt plug and the swimsuit that you know drives your partner bonkers, you have to be prepared with some less fun sex tools, too. And the same goes for other vagina circumstances that could arise, like a yeast infection or your period. Just don't get sunburned. So, do your best to not get sunburned, and make applying sunscreen a sexy activity. Sun protection can be fun and sensual, says Megan Stubbs, a clinical sexologist.
Ask your partner to rub in your sunscreen, particularly in the hard-to-reach spots. On the off chance you do get sunburned and have some pure aloe vera on-hand, you can actually use it as lube it's often an ingredient in packaged lubes, too. Advertisement 3 of 16 Let your partner plan at least one thing.
If you tend to take the reins when it comes to planning a trip itinerary e. Let your partner play "camp counselor" for an allotted time and have them choose the activities that you do during the day. You might enjoy being in charge, and find it soothing, but your partner will appreciate sharing the responsibilities and making you feel relaxed, too.
If your vacation is in a location with a hot climate, cool down as you heat things up with temperature play — meaning: When people think of temperature play, they often think of warm wax or massage oil, but a cold toy can be more appealing when it's sweltering outside — and you likely already have one in your freezer.
Sensations of cold will feel even more intense if the recipient is blindfolded. Just as you strive to bring a tightly edited collection of clothes and accessories when you travel, you want to bring a few discreet, space-economizing sex toys that still pack a punch.
For longer trips, don't forget any necessary chargers. And remember to pack whatever birth control you rely on at home! Read up on the culture of your destination and the behavior it expects of couples. Some regions frown on PDA, for example, while some are less than accepting of same-sex couples. Sex toys are illegal in India, Saudi Arabia, and the United Arab Emirates , so you may want to consider leaving the tech out of your sex if you're traveling to one of these places.
And, if you want to be extra-cautious about traveling with birth control to regions where attitudes toward it are dicey, you can ask a doctor to write you a note for added defense of your right to have it. Attempt in-flight hookups with caution. Remember that they still technically count as public sex, which is illegal, but if you are truly determined to join the mile-high club, here's what to do: You can warm up with some discreet hand action under a blanket at your seats, since you won't have time for foreplay in the bathroom.
Then, one of you enters the bathroom, locks the door, and disrobes just enough for access; the other follows close behind and knocks a quiet, pre-planned pattern to signal to the first person to open the door. Get in, get done, and get out, with your exits a few beats apart. The goal isn't to enjoy the sex — it's to say you did it. It still counts if no one orgasms, because I'm a sex writer and I say so. Advertisement Illustrated By Abbie Winters.
Because it's the way it usually goes at home, you may default to initiating sex at night, after dinner and a full day of museum-hopping, jet-skiing, hiking etc. These are less-than-ideal conditions for the intimacy you've been looking forward to.
Start your day with a hookup. You'll feel connected and energized before you even hit the breakfast buffet, and the pressure will be off for later. Additional rounds are, of course, still very much encouraged. Compromise on travel style. The busier and longer your trip is, the more important compromise becomes. A weekend in the Caribbean is less likely to reveal tension between your respective approaches to travel than, say, a month of backpacking through Europe, so for involved vacations especially, discuss your traveling styles and priorities for your itinerary in advance.
If one of you likes to wander around and get lost and the other prefers to follow a structured route, set aside time for both of these — and remember that you can always Traveling together doesn't mean spending every minute together. One afternoon during a trip with an ex, we both needed some space, and so I headed downstairs to journal while he stayed in the room He was not amused. This was an extreme way of doing it, but temporarily splitting up can turn sexy. If you want to check out a nearby cathedral and your partner has an eye on that used bookstore on the corner, instead of flipping a coin, part ways for the afternoon and then meet up to tell each other all about it over dinner.
It'll be like you both got to do both things. Nip fights in the bud. Unfortunately, the problems that you and your partner have at home won't disappear in paradise, but vacation is not the time to hash them out. If you find yourselves fighting, do a physical-needs check: Halt the conversation and grab a nap, coffee, shower, sandwich, or some combination thereof. At the end of a day, the best response is often to go the fuck to sleep, to quote the noted children's book.
And try to table Serious Relationship Discussions for after your trip. I would never tell you not to photograph your trip, and sure, you may need to throw up a few Instagrams to let everyone languishing over their laptops know that you are Living Your Best Life. Did you even go to the West Indies if you didn't take a tree-pose photo on the beach as the sun was starting to set? But then, unless you're using it for navigation or itinerary research, put the damn phone down.
You've presumably told work that you will be OOO for extra credit, turn on your vacation responder before you leave , and this time is the perfect excuse to focus on your surroundings — and your partner.
I feel less connected to my life at home and more connected with my traveling companion. The anticipation beforehand is one of the best parts of a vacation, but it can create hard-to-meet expectations.
Something will go wrong: You'll miss a train, hotel construction will wake you up at six one morning, or hot weather will lead to a yeast infection that derails your bedroom plans.
I mean, God forbid, but it could happen. Instead of expecting perfection or fixating on mishaps, focus on the "small," sensory details of your trip — and your sex — as much as you can.
As Jessica Boehme, M. Memorize them, breathe in their scent, listen to the sounds they make, taste them. And, when snafus arise, take comfort in the fact that they may become your funniest stories. What have you been wanting to try sexually but haven't had the time or opportunity to?
The adrenaline of travel sets the right tone to introduce a new move, try some light bondage, or test the waters of dirty talk — whatever you've been kicking around in your head but haven't yet done or discussed. You and your partner are already going on an adventure together, and that can extend to sex.
To pass time in transit, take turns adding to a list of activities you might be interested in exploring together. Whether or not you get to all of them on your trip, you'll return home with fresh ideas for your sex life and an NSFW souvenir. Proceed with caution in the ocean or pool. While underwater sex has a romantic reputation, it presents logistical challenges.