Her experiences on the ground-breaking television shows Celebrity Rehab with Dr. The wealth of knowledge she has received working with some of the best addictionologists in the world, as well as her own personal struggle with addiction, serve as a harrowing yet highly educational cautionary tale.
As a love addict, Amber answered some questions about her personal experiences and love addiction in our society: Tell us about yourself, what is your background? I am the only child of an English teacher and a professional football player. It was very much the "quarterback marrying the prom queen" scenario. At 16, I flew over-seas to become a professional model after being spotted by a model scout in Tampa, FL. Six years later I became a so-called "over-night success".
I spent many years overseas broke and lonely — they call it "paying your dues"- before I finally hit. I was a Sports Illustrated wwimwear model — that was a huge credit for me! After quite a run as a model, I moved to Los Angeles and began to act. I had very few relationships though. I was always working and had a hefty prescription painkiller habit to boot. My career was great but my health, my mental health rather, was fragile. Eventually, I ended up on "Celebrity Rehab with Dr.
Drew" a reality show dealing with addictions where I sought help for my painkiller addiction. It was during treatment that Dr. Drew mentioned that some of the things I was describing in regards to my love life — or the strange course it typically ran- sounded like "Love Addiction". What was your experience like writing your chapter in "Love Addict"? I simply sat down with the author Ethlie Anne Vare and told my story to her over lunch.
Ethlie is a terrific writer, very funny, and easy to talk too. Not only can she can relate but she truly has compassion for it. She has written a great book that is much needed and very timely. As I continue to tell my story, my shame continues to be reduced, which is very healing.
How do you define love addiction? They will also cheat to distract from intimacy. It all stems from childhood and the missing or very-distanced parent, most likely the parent of the opposite sex. Unfortunately, the root of this disorder is buried deeply in the subconscious, and many Love Addicts turn to their own secondary addictions to get relief from the emotional pain. Some of the actions like pining over a lost loved one, planning revenge, obsessing, etc. That is just part of life, being human and interacting in relationships.
But, unlike the Love Addict, they eventually get over their ex lovers in months not years and still relatively function through a failed affair. The love addict not only stops functioning in one or more areas of their lives, but this disorder gets worse and becomes very emotionally painful. Why do you think that love addiction is so prevalent? Does technology play a role?
What does the future look like for you? Well, I identify as a love addict as you know from my story in Love Addict. I have been in treatment for love addiction since — but I am still attracting emotionally unavailable men — its like bees to honey with me.
Even though I am not recovered enough to be attracted to someone healthy yet, I am still miles ahead of the game. Now I am aware of what the problem is, and I now know when I have a trigger for my love addiction in front of me and see the signs when someone is a love avoidant. I told my story not because I like to think about my painful past with this disorder, but because people will be able to relate and get help.
This disorder does not get better on its own. However, their conscious mind is not aware of what is in their subconscious mind, and they suffer greatly over their many failed affairs, not understanding why similar scenarios continue to happen when they desperately think that hey want to have a relationship. I highly recommend the 12 Step programs that deal with love addiction or an SLA program that deals with both sex and love addiction, as well as therapy with someone well-versed in love addiction.
Even doing a search on the Internet about love addiction will bring great awareness and that will be a huge first step. Addicts have to become aware that they have this disorder first and foremost. I am just happy that there is a way to heal this, although the healing does not happen overnight. Even with three years of love addiction recovery, I have a ways to go, but I have made a lot of progress event in the last year. I believe as long as I stay in recovery, watch for signs that my romantic prospects may be love avoidants, work on myself and making myself happy, and continue to try and heal my original wound, then I feel I wont have to wait another three years before entering a healthy relationship.