Often times the hardest part of the job was staying awake. One night this guy comes in and is browsing around. He eventually wanders over to the magazines and proceeds to peruse every magazine on the rack. Finally he leaves and gives me a nod on the way out. I look out the window and see him in the parking lot facing traffic the store was on a main stretch so there was still sporadic traffic even in the middle of the night.
This dude bought a stack of magazines, rented a bunch of DVDs, lube, a blow up doll and a pair of fuzzy handcuffs. One time I smashed a robber in the face with a fairly meaty two sided dildo.
Got hit on by all sorts of people. Ultimately quit because I figured being in that environment and never seeing the sun was making me weird. I was starting to feel like a Chuck Palahniuk character. I worked the graveyard shift of a porn store, and overnights are usually the slow time.
Evenings are usually when all the spicy stuff is going down, and all the worst things happen around 11 pm on a Friday, when the drunken pervert crowd mingles with the drunken bachelorette party crowd.
I guess the worst thing was the time a guy tripped and fell, cutting his head and face on a magazine rack, but still wanted to shop. He got blood on everything in the damn store before I could insist that he either go get medical attention or I was calling an ambulance. My shift started at 2am and I got out at 10am. The store was located in a semi-shitty part of town.
The door swings open, and in walks what was clearly, a transvestite. She was wearing an awful wig and a tube top just low enough for me to see that her chest hair was growing back. Not sure what to say, I let her speak first. I nodded on agreement. But maybe that guy does! She pleaded for several more minutes before finally giving up and left. An older couple came through with a shopping full of KY Jelly and a pack of hot dogs.
They seriously cleaned out our stock of KY, there had to of been 45, 50 tubes of it. They said they had their RV parked in the lot on their way north through Colorado. They tossed in a pack of bubblegum, and then my shift at WalMart ended and I went home to study for a geography quiz the next day.
My ex worked at an adult video rental store. Anyway, we mostly just hung out and played old ps2 games on a tiny tv to pass the time. Occasionally, you would get weirdos in there. Ok, most of the time. Since it was rental porn. You know, it takes a special breed to rent porn. Anyway, one day this big fat trucker had a lot of truckers as customers comes in complaining he wants his money back.
My ex approaches and asks him why he wants his money back. Did it not play correctly? My ex asks him specifically what was wrong with the DVD. But whatever amount of dick was on these chicks was not enough for this man. One time a friend and I went to a local adult store. It was part of a local chain, always clean and not sketchy, as far as adult stores go.
I wanted to pick up a new bowl, and my friend wanted to look at glass dildos. I grab my friend and we wait in line. In front of us is this older women, probably around 60 years old. She proceeds to the counter, and hands her items to the employee. So the employee puts the batteries into this fairly large virbrator. The employee goes to take the batteries out and box the fuck machine up, when the old lady says: The old lady glared at me and paid for her purchase and left.
This was about twenty years ago. We had booths in the back, and a theater attached basically, just movie seating with a widescreen TV. I would toss in videos from the front to play back there. There was the time the two midget prostitutes in the city got in a knife fight in my store.
The three cops two male and one female who would come in, kick everyone out of the theater and watch a movie with just the three of them for an hour. The time I forgot I had to work, and went in tripping on acid on a day when we got raided. So many good stories. The janitor was gone that day, so I had to deal with fixing broken machines back in the booth area. I knew what went on back there, but I never ventured in. Turns out my instinct was correct.
I walked into a booth and discovered something that still makes me a little queasy today. On the floor, lying next to a pair of panties that were too small for any adult, was a bone.
Must have been a foot and a half long. The tip was coated with meat, shit and a great deal of blood. The bone itself had tooth marks on it where it had been gnawed…and those were also coated with shit and blood.
I told myself I would never go back into that booth again. I worked at a 24 hour porn store years ago. My first day, I was introduced to my co workers… a large bat, an enormous mag light, and a hammer. So, on my second night, a ratty looking dude walked in. He stank of booze. He wandered around the aisles, periodically glancing at me with beady eyes. I assisted them, and they eventually left. I kinda forgot about the ratty dude. He walked out shortly after they left. So now the shop is empty.
I go out to have a cigarette. I began to nope my way towards the door. I speed walked backwards into the shop. About an hour later, I put up a sign and left to grab my late night lunch. Ratso Rizzo is sitting, looking beat up, in handcuffs. I gave a statement to the cops, and got named as a victim of his unwarranted advances. And then went back, reopened, and ate my gyro. I told my coworkers my story, and they one-upped me with stories of catching homeless guys buggering in the video booths.
The worst were those who came in to buy pipes and whippets gas for inhalation. One night around am I was off in 15 , two guys came in to buy a crack pipe and left. At , police sirens went off a little too close for comfort. Suddenly, both men burst into the store fighting and knocking shelves over. Apparently, one guy dropped the crack pipe and blamed the other guy. Needless to say, the police follow in, grab the two men, question me as to what they bought, and leave.
My replacement arrives, having been stuck behind the cop cars. That was my last night working there. It can be a fascinating job, but its very taxing.